All Together, Now . . .

Music is a good gift from God.
One good way to have fun with kids is to sing to them, and to sing with them. Music is a universal language, one that communicates well across any generation gap.
Reach back into your memory for songs from your own childhood – songs like “I Know a Little Pussy” or “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and sing them with your grandkids.
Most kids like music, and they'll like sharing it with you. Whether it's a lullaby sung to soothe a cranky infant, a silly song like “Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes” or a song you remember from your own growing up years, sharing it with your child or grandchild is just fun.
Music is also a great teaching tool. Scripture songs and hymns help a child hide Scripture in her heart, and help her feel at home in church, when those songs are sung by the congregation. In this case, familiarity breeds comfort, not to mention a measure of attentiveness!
And who hasn't tried to teach the alphabet or times tables with a catchy song?
Music appreciation is a great thing to give your child, and what better way to pass it on than to sing to and with your kids?
Here are three ways you can share a gift of music with your child or grandchild:
* Sing in the car, sing while you do chores together, sing together around the table after a meal – just look for the chance to sing, then do it! Don't be shy; be enthusiastic. If you're having fun, chances are your kids will, too.
* If you aren't together, sing over the phone. Find a signature song you always sing to one another.
* Sing along to the radio, or to your Ipod, or to the commercials on television. Help your kids appreciate music wherever they find it.

Staying in Touch . . .

Here's a simple, quick idea for staying in touch with your grandkids over the summer: take five or ten business sized envelopes, address them to yourself, stamp them, then tie them with a pretty ribbon. Enclose them in a personal letter to your grandchild with a request for letters back over the summer.
You can enclose stationery with your stamped, self-addressed envelopes, or you can invite your grandchild to use her own stationery – whether that's on the back of a picture she's drawn or painted, or a note on the back of a program she's been to – encourage her to be creative in what she sends. If your grandchild can't quite write yet, ask for pictures she's drawn that tell what she's been doing over the summer.
By preparing and stamping the envelopes, you've taken a lot of the difficult work out of corresponding for your grandchild. To make envelope preparation even easier, use up some of those interesting return address stickers you get from various charities with your name and address on them.
One other thing you'll find helpful is to write letters to your grandchild, yourself. Our grandkids like to get mail, too! Be creative in the stationery you use, and generous in the things you write about. By setting that example (and by sharing your daily life with her in a letter) you'll encourage her to establish a letter-writing habit.
Enjoy a summer of mail with your grandkids!

Cleaning with Kids

We had four of our granddaughters stay with us recently, and I put them to work.
They range in age from 6 years to 15 years, and didn't seem to mind at all.
It was a cold, grey, drippy spring day – the kind of day that lends itself to whining and boredom. I didn't want to act that way in front of my grandkids, so I planned a day of chores.
When I told them I had chores for them, they cheered. Probably because most kids don't mind working if – a big if – an adult is working alongside them.
Kids learn a lot when they work with us – new skills, attitudes, jokes, family history, ways of being. Conversations go a lot easier when our hands are busy with work.
So we cleaned the refrigerator – almost a biology lesson based on green stuff, which made for a lot of laughter and teasing – and one closet full of games and winter coats. Then we tackled the kitchen cabinets, and when one of the girls put the spice cabinet back together she was so pleased with herself! Who cares if I still can't find the oregano???
Sometimes we think we need to entertain our children and grandchildren with fun games and other special activities. There's nothing wrong with those things, but most of the time they will enjoy working with us as long as we are right there with them.
Who knew?

May Day Fun . . .

April is very nearly over, and tomorrow is May Day.
My mom worked for a wallpaper and paint store, and each season she would bring home the outdated wallpaper pattern books. We felt rich – so much pretty paper to use for doll houses, or letters, or May Day baskets.
Our favorite was the cone shaped basket, with a pipe-cleaner handle. We'd fill it with penny candy, popcorn, and top it off with flowers from the yard, whatever was fresh and fragrant.
We'd tiptoe to the neighbors early in the morning – or sometimes very late in the afternoon – and leave the basket hanging on their door. We'd hide and watch the fun as they opened the door and found their gift.
If you're close enough, leave a May Day basket for someone you love – a grandchild, or a close neighbor. You can use almost anything – an empty juice can, construction paper, left-over wallpaper – you're limited only by your imagination.
Fill it up with goodies, then leave it where it will be found. Ring the bell, and run!

Eyes to See

I talked with a MOPS group last week about “Kindling a Sense of Wonder in Your Child.” I came away feeling as if I had missed the mark, but that happens sometimes.
One of the things I discussed was introducing your child to nature. This is something a grandparent can do, too. Just today I was out walking in our yard, trying to open my eyes to spring unfolding. Here are some of the things I noticed:
* a constellation of violets in the grass – they look like tiny stars, studding the yard.
* the tips of every branch on the pine trees are loaded with tiny pine cones.
* cardinals were calling to each other, and tiny finches were singing.
* the bark on our big mulberry tree is rough, multi-colored, and good for squirrels to gain footing on.
* the bluebells are beginning to bloom.
* tiny grape hyacinth surprise a careful observer.
* ducks paddle in the creek without making a sound.
* the lilac is leafing out so quickly it's as if an invisible hand is painting it green.
Having eyes to see makes the world a much richer place.

Turn Off the What???

April 21 is the first day of Turn-Off-the-Television week according to a column written by Julie Kaiser, for the Bloomington Pantagraph – you can read it for yourself at The Pantagraph website, www.Pantagraph.com.

Julie writes about how hard it is to avoid using television as a child care helper. How well I remember! And as a grandma, it can still be a temptation.

I think it's harder for young moms; it's hard for them to carve out time to do things that are necessary, not to mention finding quiet time to gather themselves together. As Julie explains, sometimes television provides just the thing to keep the kids entertained while she gets a few things done.

As a grandma I have the luxury of time to get ready with alternative activities. I have “down time” to prepare things to do in the limited time I have with my grandchildren, so television isn't quite the resource it used to be.

Julie is my daughter, and experienced first-hand having Captain Kangaroo and Big Bird as babysitters. She grew up to be a remarkable young woman, creative, bright, engaged.

It's not that television can't be used wisely – it's just that there is so much more we can do.

What's your favorite non-television activity for your kids/grandkids to do?

Back from Vacation . . .

There is something about a vacation that re-sets schedules.

We took a vacation right after Easter, and it's taken me this long to get caught up. Either life is speeding up or I'm slowing down – or both!

We spent most of a week at the beach with our daughter, her family, and some friends, wading, building sand castles, looking for shells and other beach treasures. We played games, read books, and ate wonderful meals. We celebrated the 7 year old's birthday, went on the Glorious Gardens tour in Charleston, South Carolina, and generally had a relaxing time together.

Vacationing with grandchildren can be a great way to bond with them, and make memories that will last for several lifetimes – your own, and theirs.

A Poem is a Good Guest

The bookshelf in my bedroom holds some amazing treasures. One of my favorites is The Golden Treasury of Poetry, Selected and with a commentary by Louis Untermeyer, illustrated by Joan Walsh Anglund. Inside there is an inscription: To Holly, our granddaughter, from Grandma and Grandpa.

Both grandparents could – and often did, to our delight – recite poetry they had learned as schoolchildren. Grandma especially enjoyed sitting with us right beside her as she read to us. She favored story poems like those James Whitcomb Riley wrote, and often added dramatic flair as she read.

Those poems were, as Ted Kooser says, Grandma's invited guests, desired for their ability to entertain, to educate, to delight. She shared them with us as if they were great treasures – which they have proven, over time, to be.

The rhythm and cadence, the rhyme and sound of poetry add important elements to a child's language development, not to mention fun. As a child gets older there is a sense of play, a sense of story, a sense of a widening world in poems like “Little Orphan Annie,” “The Highwaymen,” “The Tyger,” and others.

As moms and grandmas we can introduce our children and grandchildren to different kinds of poetry, different authors, different word pictures. As we do that, we share a treasure with them, a guest to enrich their lives.

The Words of Our Mouth . . .

Based on conversations I've overheard lately, family relationships can be a blessing or a curse.

To be honest, I've been blessed both by my family and by my in-laws. My husband's family was welcoming even when they might have been skeptical about his choice of a bride! And our children are a joy to us, our sons and daughters-in-law, without exception, have blessed us and enriched our family; our grandchildren are a delight. Even our in-laws' extended families have been a blessing!

But recently I was in a situation where I couldn't avoid overhearing a young woman talking with friends about her family life, especially about a minor disagreement she'd had with her in-laws. Her attitude toward them was careless and rude. I don't know if she would speak directly to them that way, but with her friends she was dismissive of them, mistrusting their motives and their methods. And she wasn't alone!

Her friends joined in, recounting their in-laws' mis-steps and mistakes. Equally rude and dismissive, they seemed to try to top one another's stories about their clueless in-laws.

Not only that, they included a running commentary about their own children's shortcomings.

I wondered to myself if they had any idea how ungrateful and self-centered they sounded.

I know mothers-in-law can be equally tactless when they discuss their sons- and/or daughters-in-law or grandchildren, and I'm always sad to hear that, too.

This conversation was quite different from one I actually took part in several days later. These young moms were talking about their in-laws, specifically gifts their mothers-in-law had given them.

These moms recognized that, while some gifts had missed the mark widely, the thought and intent behind those gifts was loving. Their stories were funny, their attitudes gracious. Instead of being insulted or bitterly resenting some odd gift choices, they focused on the deeper message, the effort their in-laws had put into pleasing them. And these young women were much more fun to be with than the first group!

We are called to live together in love, so that we might build healthy, strong families. How much better to live that way, than to tear one another down carelessly over things that are better addressed with direct, honest, kind communication.

Family relationships, even good ones, require effort and maturity. How we talk about each other both reveals and shapes our hearts.

The words we use about our in-laws and other family members reveals our hearts; bitter words spring from a bitter heart. Careless words bubble up from a careless heart, and on it goes – our words merely give expression to our inner attitudes.

Our conversation shapes our hearts because the more we allow ourselves to complain about a situation (without trying first to remedy it) the more we invite bitterness and dissatisfaction in.

As wives and moms we have a choice: we can build our families in love, or we can tear them down carelessly. A lot depends on what we have to say about one another.

More Easter Books . . .

Today the sun came out, and a welcome sight it was, indeed -- the air wasn't too much warmer, but the forecast is promising, and not only is spring coming, but so is Easter!

As a mom or a grandma, reading with the small children at your house is a privilege as well as a pleasure. With books you introduce that little person to ideas, to beauty, and to fun. Keeping that all in mind, here are more new Easter books to share with the little ones you love.

* For infants and toddlers, two egg-shaped books sized for little fingers offer age-appropriate perspective on Palm Sunday and Easter. In Hosanna by Jesslyn DeBoer, illustrated by Susan Miller, Little Lamb watches as children prepare to welcome Jesus into Jerusalem. In The First Easter, also written by Jesslyn DeBoer, simple words and illustrations will keep your child's attention as Little Lamb visits the garden where Jesus's friends hear He is still alive. Hosanna is a Zondervan Gifts book, while The First Easter is published by ZonderKidz.

* The Legend of the Sand Dollar, by Chris Auer, illustrated by Rick Johnson, recounts the story of Kerry, a young girl staying with extended family just before Easter. Lonely, she is comforted when her cousin Jack explains all the ways a sand dollar tells the story of Easter. Evocative illustrations add charm. This ZonderKidz book is appropriate for children ages 4-8 years old.

* Popular author Liz Curtis Higgs wrote The Parable of the Lily for children roughly the same ages. Although this book isn't new, the story of Maggie and the curious gift she receives in the mail is one that children will enjoy. Illustrated by Nancy Munger, The Parable of the Lily includes Scripture at the bottom of almost every page in a way that ties Maggie's story to the Biblical story of Easter, without overwhelming Maggie's story. The Parable of the Lily is published by Tommy Nelson, a division of Thomas Nelson Publishers.

* Finally, The Story of Easter by Christopher Doyle and John Haysom, is written for older children, and could be read independently or with a parent or grandparent. Published by Concordia Publishing House (www.cph.org) this book simply retells the Scriptural story of Easter in a way that answers many of the questions a child of 8 – 12 might have about the Easter story. The thoughtful illustrations add to a child's understanding of the story.

As we prepare to celebrate the Easter holiday, consider adding a good book about why we are celebrating to your child's library. If you live some distance away, send a book or two in the mail; if you live nearby, share a book in person.