It's easy to forget the intensity of the day-to-day job of motherhood.
For a quick reminder, check out this job description for moms from a column I wrote several years ago for Hearts at Home.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Investing in Relationships
One of the things we get to do as grandparents is offer a respite to our children as they parent.
Inviting our grandkids over for an evening or a week-end allows their parents to go out for dinner or to get away for an overnight mini-vacation, and it allows us to connect with our grandkids in fun ways.
We had an opportunity to do this recently. A long week-end with four of our granddaughters included a trip to our local Children's Museum as well as a trip to our local zoo where we saw the bears and tigers get dinner, walked through the tropical rain forest house with birds swooping overhead, and watched a river otter glide gracefully through his pond.
We also made sure there was time to relax. Although our usual week-end chores still had to be done (and the girls got to help with those!) we had time to watch a movie together, play in the yard, color, blow bubbles, and just hang out. There was a lot of eating (especially ice cream -- ice cream with strawberries, root beer floats . . . ) and a lot of just talking.
Our kids had a good time getting away, and we had a good time connecting with them.
If you're having grandkids over this summer, whether it's just for an evening or longer, here are some things you might want to think about:
* Food -- have plenty of it, and make at least some of it fun. Ice cream usually works, but so does popcorn and orange juice, or cupcakes with lots of fun frosting. Be sure you have any special foods you need for kids with allergies; one of our granddaughters is lactose intolerant so we make sure we have milk she can drink.
* A good balance between being busy and being together. Cooking together is a good way to spend time with grandkids, and conversation seems to happen naturally in the kitchen.
* Have some fun things to do at the house. For younger kids this might be as simple as a bottle of bubbles and a good supply of coloring books and craft supplies; for older kids it might be a classic movie with popcorn, or a chore like painting the porch that they get to do with you. Or get out some family photographs and tell family stories.
* Plan something fun you can do as a treat. We live in a place where there are lots of options: museums, parks, zoos, and friends to visit. What's special about where you live that you can share with your grandkids?
Inviting your grandkids to spend time with you is an investment in your relationship, with delightful dividends.
Inviting our grandkids over for an evening or a week-end allows their parents to go out for dinner or to get away for an overnight mini-vacation, and it allows us to connect with our grandkids in fun ways.
We had an opportunity to do this recently. A long week-end with four of our granddaughters included a trip to our local Children's Museum as well as a trip to our local zoo where we saw the bears and tigers get dinner, walked through the tropical rain forest house with birds swooping overhead, and watched a river otter glide gracefully through his pond.
We also made sure there was time to relax. Although our usual week-end chores still had to be done (and the girls got to help with those!) we had time to watch a movie together, play in the yard, color, blow bubbles, and just hang out. There was a lot of eating (especially ice cream -- ice cream with strawberries, root beer floats . . . ) and a lot of just talking.
Our kids had a good time getting away, and we had a good time connecting with them.
If you're having grandkids over this summer, whether it's just for an evening or longer, here are some things you might want to think about:
* Food -- have plenty of it, and make at least some of it fun. Ice cream usually works, but so does popcorn and orange juice, or cupcakes with lots of fun frosting. Be sure you have any special foods you need for kids with allergies; one of our granddaughters is lactose intolerant so we make sure we have milk she can drink.
* A good balance between being busy and being together. Cooking together is a good way to spend time with grandkids, and conversation seems to happen naturally in the kitchen.
* Have some fun things to do at the house. For younger kids this might be as simple as a bottle of bubbles and a good supply of coloring books and craft supplies; for older kids it might be a classic movie with popcorn, or a chore like painting the porch that they get to do with you. Or get out some family photographs and tell family stories.
* Plan something fun you can do as a treat. We live in a place where there are lots of options: museums, parks, zoos, and friends to visit. What's special about where you live that you can share with your grandkids?
Inviting your grandkids to spend time with you is an investment in your relationship, with delightful dividends.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Making a Family
I like John Rosemond, and this morning I had a chance to hear Dr. James Dobson interview him on Focus on the Family.
Young parents have a daunting task these days. They work hard, they try hard, but culturally they get little help in raising responsible, healthy children. Many times they are nowhere near extended family, and even if they are, we grandparents keep pretty busy ourselves. Too many times we aren't as available as our kids might hope.
Making a family takes time and commitment, and it requires an understanding of what children really need. Dr. Rosemond offers insight into what it takes, and encouragement for everyone who works at making a family.
I encourage you to click on the link and listen to what Dr. Rosemond has to say.
Young parents have a daunting task these days. They work hard, they try hard, but culturally they get little help in raising responsible, healthy children. Many times they are nowhere near extended family, and even if they are, we grandparents keep pretty busy ourselves. Too many times we aren't as available as our kids might hope.
Making a family takes time and commitment, and it requires an understanding of what children really need. Dr. Rosemond offers insight into what it takes, and encouragement for everyone who works at making a family.
I encourage you to click on the link and listen to what Dr. Rosemond has to say.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Once Upon A Time . . .
One of the abiding pleasures of family life is sharing stories.
Whether it's a traditional fairy tale or a true story from the family archives, children are enchanted by stories, and stories offer adults a way to share insights, lessons, and faith in a kid-friendly way. Even better, sharing a good story is fun for everyone.
Once upon a time is one way to start -- you can read it here in the article Once Upon A Time I wrote on the Hearts at Home website.
************
One of the best stories we can share is the Easter story. During this Lenten season, we can get ready to share it with our children. Here, in another article I've written on the Hearts at Home website, Teach Them Diligently, you can get some ideas for preparing to share the story of Easter with the children in your life.
Whether it's a traditional fairy tale or a true story from the family archives, children are enchanted by stories, and stories offer adults a way to share insights, lessons, and faith in a kid-friendly way. Even better, sharing a good story is fun for everyone.
Once upon a time is one way to start -- you can read it here in the article Once Upon A Time I wrote on the Hearts at Home website.
************
One of the best stories we can share is the Easter story. During this Lenten season, we can get ready to share it with our children. Here, in another article I've written on the Hearts at Home website, Teach Them Diligently, you can get some ideas for preparing to share the story of Easter with the children in your life.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
One More Way to Share an Experience
This is a great time of year to encourage grandkids to enjoy the natural world.
Nature guides are one way to do this. Check at your local bookstore for the laminated, EZ-fold type of nature guide that fits into a pocket easily, and choose one that a grandchild might use to identify trees, birds, or flowers.
Or visit your local bird-supply store for a CD of birdsong that helps listeners identify which bird sings what.
Purchase one for yourself and one for your grandchild, then share the adventure.
If you live at a distance, send your grandchild one guide, keep one for yourself, then write an e-mail note or send a letter describing the trees you've identified, or the flowers you've found with your copy of the guide. Ask your grandchild to let you know what she's found, and how she uses her copy of the guide.
It's just one more way to share an experience and stay in touch, all at the same time.
Nature guides are one way to do this. Check at your local bookstore for the laminated, EZ-fold type of nature guide that fits into a pocket easily, and choose one that a grandchild might use to identify trees, birds, or flowers.
Or visit your local bird-supply store for a CD of birdsong that helps listeners identify which bird sings what.
Purchase one for yourself and one for your grandchild, then share the adventure.
If you live at a distance, send your grandchild one guide, keep one for yourself, then write an e-mail note or send a letter describing the trees you've identified, or the flowers you've found with your copy of the guide. Ask your grandchild to let you know what she's found, and how she uses her copy of the guide.
It's just one more way to share an experience and stay in touch, all at the same time.
A Gracious Gift
Wisdom is always available, but sometimes seems to be in short supply.
Maybe that's because we don't always value it very much.
I think that has to do with our goals, with what we want out of our lives.
If what we want is a stable and happy family, wisdom is indispensable. We'll learn to value its role in helping us create stability, closeness, warmth -- all the things we need to keep a family in good shape.
Wisdom is ultimately creative. When we apply wisdom to our lives, we create space, time, and energy; we redirect resources to what is good, pure, and lovely; we affirm what is of God. The result is freedom to become what God created us to be.
The apostle James says all we have to do is ask for wisdom, and God, who is generous, will supply it generously.
What a gracious gift!
Maybe that's because we don't always value it very much.
I think that has to do with our goals, with what we want out of our lives.
If what we want is a stable and happy family, wisdom is indispensable. We'll learn to value its role in helping us create stability, closeness, warmth -- all the things we need to keep a family in good shape.
Wisdom is ultimately creative. When we apply wisdom to our lives, we create space, time, and energy; we redirect resources to what is good, pure, and lovely; we affirm what is of God. The result is freedom to become what God created us to be.
The apostle James says all we have to do is ask for wisdom, and God, who is generous, will supply it generously.
What a gracious gift!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Preparing for Parenthood -- and Other Things . . .
It's fun to watch our kids prepare for parenthood.
Some of them focus on reading all the books they can find about becoming a mom or a dad.
Some of them spend a lot of time talking to people who've been parents for awhile, asking questions and listening to stories.
And some of them just try to wrap their minds and hearts around what's happening, and wait to see what it's like.
In each case, they prepare in ways as individual as they are, keeping in mind the dreams, hopes, and goals they have for parenting their children.
No matter what we do, preparation is important, and it helps if we can keep what we are preparing for in mind. You can read more about preparation in my post on Inspired Bliss.
What are you preparing for?
Some of them focus on reading all the books they can find about becoming a mom or a dad.
Some of them spend a lot of time talking to people who've been parents for awhile, asking questions and listening to stories.
And some of them just try to wrap their minds and hearts around what's happening, and wait to see what it's like.
In each case, they prepare in ways as individual as they are, keeping in mind the dreams, hopes, and goals they have for parenting their children.
No matter what we do, preparation is important, and it helps if we can keep what we are preparing for in mind. You can read more about preparation in my post on Inspired Bliss.
What are you preparing for?
Monday, March 9, 2009
Welcome, Welcome to the World . . .
What a month! We celebrated the arrival of grandchild #11 a few weeks before we expected to, but with great joy. After a few difficult days, he's healthy and home.
Watching a new baby meet the world is a privilege, and watching your own child learning the challenges and pleasures of becoming a parent is one of life's sweetest treasures.
Watching a new baby meet the world is a privilege, and watching your own child learning the challenges and pleasures of becoming a parent is one of life's sweetest treasures.
Monday, February 2, 2009
A Five-Year Journal
I was talking with a group of younger friends last week, and one of them shared about a “Five Year Journal” she'd begun keeping lately.
It had been a gift she'd set aside and then found. Each date of the year had its own page, and each page had five sections, one for each of five years, each with only a few lines. The idea is that it's fairly easy to write a few sentences on those few lines each day, and so have a record of what's happening in your family.
So far, she's delighted with the results, remarking how even a few sentences can bring a whole event or day back into remembrance.
I've been keeping a similar journal the past few years, mostly with weather notes, but there are family notes sprinkled in. I've been keeping it long enough to know what my friend is talking about -- it's delightful to read back through this journal.
What if we kept a grandma's journal for our grandkids, each day recording some interaction with them, or some memory we'd like to share associated with the day? Even a few sentences each day would give them some kind of record of who we are and how we think about the world, what we've seen of the world.
You don't have to have a fancy book to do this; you could even do it online. The important thing is to begin!
It had been a gift she'd set aside and then found. Each date of the year had its own page, and each page had five sections, one for each of five years, each with only a few lines. The idea is that it's fairly easy to write a few sentences on those few lines each day, and so have a record of what's happening in your family.
So far, she's delighted with the results, remarking how even a few sentences can bring a whole event or day back into remembrance.
I've been keeping a similar journal the past few years, mostly with weather notes, but there are family notes sprinkled in. I've been keeping it long enough to know what my friend is talking about -- it's delightful to read back through this journal.
What if we kept a grandma's journal for our grandkids, each day recording some interaction with them, or some memory we'd like to share associated with the day? Even a few sentences each day would give them some kind of record of who we are and how we think about the world, what we've seen of the world.
You don't have to have a fancy book to do this; you could even do it online. The important thing is to begin!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Some Forwards are Fun
From my friend Rose:
Retarded Grandparents
RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.One child wrote the following:
"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick housebut Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida .
Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because
they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts.
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren."
..... PRICELESS
Retarded Grandparents
RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.One child wrote the following:
"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick housebut Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida .
Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because
they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts.
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren."
..... PRICELESS
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