Three Things About Puzzles and Repetition . . . Repetition . . . Repetition . . .

One of the 2-year olds was here this morning, so we got out one of her favorite toys -- the stack of puzzles.
Puzzles are more fun when there's more than one person playing.
“Grandma,” she lisps, “come play with the puzzles with me.”
Who can resist such an invitation?
So down on the floor I went, watching, occasionally helping. Here's what I observed:
* Working on puzzles is a lesson in spatial relationships for the 2-year old and for me. If I'd worked more puzzles, I might have done better in math!
* One thing that helps in working a puzzle is to look at the frame of the puzzle, and match the pieces to what is on the frame. to wit: if Ernie's hair is visible along the edge of the frame, the 2-year old found it helpful to find the piece with Ernie's head and hair, then match the hair to Ernie's hair on the frame of the puzzle. We also matched what was on one piece of the puzzle to what belonged on the next piece: Bert's arm on this piece would link up to Bert's arm on the next piece. Once she figured this out, she was able to put the puzzle together much more quickly, with much less frustration.
* If doing a puzzle once is fun, doing it 18 times must be better. And each time, proficiency increases. Repetition might reinforce memorization, but it also allows experimenting to see if the “right” piece will work upside down, or if it might fit in better backwards -- more lessons in spatial relationships.
I'm sure there are life lessons here, but the most immediate, practical lesson is this: playing with your grandchild and a stack of puzzles is fun!

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town . . . Eventually, and Mrs. Claus, Too

Friday night dates used to mean at least dinner out, maybe a movie or a drive in the country.
Now Friday night dates mean dinner with whichever members of the extended family can get together, at one house or another.
Tonight it was the home of the Princess and the Ballerina, one of whom was very very tired and just a little pouty.
The pizza was tasty, the homemade chocolate chip cookies (made this afternoon with the Ballerina's help) delicious, and the company was entertaining. Lively conversation made dinner go by quickly,and included a discussion about Santa Claus. (It is, after all, September.)
“I'm really Santa Claus,” confided the grandpa in the group.
“No, you're not,” said the Ballerina.
“Oh yes I am,” said the grandpa with a twinkle in his eye.
After that brief exchange, the conversation shifted; but then as we left, the Ballerina took me aside and said confidentially, “Grandma, I know Grandpa isn't Santa Claus, because then there would have to be a Mrs. Claus with him.”
I nodded thoughtfully, and said, “And I don't look anything like Mrs. Claus, do I?”
The Ballerina nodded quite seriously and said, “No, Grandma, you don't. You just look like your own self.”

Reasons to Rest

One of the tools in our grandparenting bag is modeling.
This is a tool parents use, too, but with age we gain impact when we model good behavior.
Oh, sure, our kids might sigh, even roll their eyes as they mutter something like “what's mom up to now?”
But our grandkids -- they're watching and listening more closely than we realize.
That's why it's important to be intentional about how we live.
If we keep going at a breakneck pace just because we can, we're teaching our kids and grandkids that it's a good way to live.
And maybe it's not.
What about rest?
I wrote about resting in yesterday's Hearts at Home column in the Bloomington Pantagraph. (It's my last column in that space, coincidentally.)
If you're feeling rushed, tired, over-extended, you might want to make time to read it. It could be all the excuse you need to relax.

Birthday Week

We had a family birthday party this week. It's easy to forget how exciting a party is when you're turning 5 years old, and the party is just for you.
The days leading up to the big event were trying for the birthday girl's mom. All the excitement made good behavior a little harder for the birthday girl to come by. It's easy to forget how tantrums and drama can wear out a mom, too!
This time I didn't do a very good job of helping out. Caught up with my own responsibilities, I failed to see the little ways I might have eased my daughter's stress.
It's difficult these days, when all of us have so many things to do, so many legitimate demands on our time, to notice -- or have the energy to carry out -- the small kindnesses that might encourage or make a difference to the people around us. It's not an excuse or an accusation; just an observation.
The birthday party was a huge success, including the surprise blowing out of birthday candles by a 2 year old sibling, which meant the whole cake-and-candle part of the evening had to be re-enacted, with much laughter. The cake and ice cream were delicious and much appreciated, the gifts were greeted with joy, and the birthday girl -- and all the rest of us -- had a very good time, thank you very much.
But next time, I'll try to pay more attention so that the days leading up to the big party are fun for everyone, too.

Toddlers, Food, and Memories

Grandmas are supposed to be all about food, but if it's been awhile since you've fed a toddler, may I offer a refresher course? I wrote about Toddler Nutrition in the Bloomington Pantagraph for Hearts at Home recently. You might find it interesting -- and it will probably bring back memories!

Keeping Up

Being a grandma is no excuse for falling behind culturally.
I don't mean you have to be aware of every celebrity twitch. What I mean is it's not good to use your own advancing age to ignore what's happening in our culture. And in our culture, technology is a big deal.
Even if you don't use technology, it's a good idea to know something about it. Otherwise, sooner or later you'll find yourself speaking a different language from your grandchildren.
Traditionally grandparents hang on to technology that was cutting edge when they were younger, and shy away from what is newest. That isn't true of all grandparents, of course; some of us can't wait to show off how cool we are -- we Twitter, and we don't care who knows it!
Part of understanding and using technology is awareness of its risks and dangers. The NetSmartz website has easy-to-understand explanations of those risks and dangers, with special sections for parents and guardians, as well as for children of every age.
I encourage you to check it out, educate yourself, then share what you've learned with the grandkids you love.

Three Lessons from a Visit

One of the 4-year olds spent the night this week. We had a good time checking out the spider webs in the back yard, watching two (two!) movies together (short ones -- the Focus on the Family McGee and Me series,) and carefully examining family photographs.
It's hard for a 4-year old to spend the night away from family. “I never did this before,” she told me. “Always before I had somebody else here with me.”
She was brave despite a little bit of homesickness (having Jasmine the golden lab to play with helped a lot,) and we did have fun together. After our backyard spider expedition we sat down in the swing on the big sycamore tree, only to discover that yet another spider was busy building a web from the swing to the nearest sycamore branch! (We politely encouraged that spider to build somewhere else.)
The raspberry chocolate chip ice cream was a disappointment (too much raspberry, not enough chocolate chip) so we substituted popcorn for our after dinner treat.
We visited a local used-book store as well as the local library. We brought home some books that we enjoyed, curled up together on the love seat in the living room. Now when I write her a letter and say I've just come from the bookstore or the library, she'll have an idea of where I'm talking about.
And looking at the family photographs gave her a glimpse into her mommy and daddy's lives before she was a part of them. “She's so pretty,” she said, gazing at a photograph of her mom a few years ago. I had to agree!
Our overnight together accomplished at least three good things: we got to know one another better. We had fun together. And next time, I'll be sure the ice cream is chocolate!

Making Introductions, Strengthening Connections

Staying current with what's happening in the world of parenting is easier than ever for grandparents. There's a wealth of information about new products, new ideas, and new information about child development that even grandparents will benefit from available in books, magazines, online. We set a good example for both our grandchildren and our children when we keep learning new information and stay interested in what's happening.
In the September 2008 issue of one of the relatively new parenting magazines, Wonder Time, there's a great article, Lost in Translation by Sarah Trillin, about how to introduce your child to her grandparents, even those who are deceased. In a sidebar, Trillin offers sugggestions for “Keeping Memories Alive” that will touch your heart, inspire you, even make you think about your own grandparents.
As a grandparent, these suggestions may give you some ideas, too, for sharing your life with your grandchildren, help them know -- and remember -- you better.

Trading Lunches

With the new school year beginning, many families are looking for new lunchboxes. They have a lot of choices.
One option is recyclable bags, thermoses, and wrappers. The Reusable Bags website offers all these, including stainless steel drink containers and sandwich wraps that take the place of plastic sandwich bags.
The products they offer are appealing, but as I looked through the website, I was concerned to learn that many of them are manufactured in China. I'm glad China has developed a thriving economy, but I'd like to have a choice. The website makes a point of reporting that while they'd like to buy American-made product, they can't do it in a cost-effective way.
The website also emphasizes that they check in on the factories where product is made to be sure they adhere to safety and personnel policies.
I'm not familiar enough with the intricacies of trade policy to comment much. I understand there are issues of life safety, product safety, labor practices, material costs, trade balances and fair trade practices that affect our ability to keep manufacturing plants open and running efficiently.
I just know I'd like to buy safe, well-made products made in the United States at a price I can afford. And surely there are answers to these concerns that will allow our grandchildren to find good jobs in this country when they grow up.

Framing Your Grandchildren

Marge Kennedy's book 100 Things You Can Do To Keep Your Family Together has hundreds of ideas for family fun.
This is one of my favorites:
“One mom reports within earshot of her kindergartner: 'It's the most amazing thing. But every year, Santa somehow finds my daughter's best work, frames it, and leaves it under the tree for me. And every year, it's my favorite gift.'”
What a good way to spotlight work that might otherwise be tucked into the back of a drawer!
Framed artwork created by your child as a gift for a grandparent is a great way to share your child's progress.
Or a grandparent could “commission” a picture from a grandchild as a gift for a parent!
Either way, everyone wins, and the child feels as if she has contributed something of value to family celebrations.
Ms. Kennedy doesn't stop there, though -- she suggests other ideas like:
“* Photograph a terrific block tower before getting to the necessary task of dismantling it to reclaim the living room floor.
* Tape record piano recitals, new songs learned, poetry readings.
* Create collages of special events -- hair ribbons, a pressed flower, photo, program from a child's ballet recital, or ticket stubs from the season's final peewee soccer match.”
These ideas are creative ways to encourage and affirm a child's accomplishments.