Illuminating Faith

In his foreword to the book A Sacrifice of Praise, Larry Woiwode describes what happens to many young people who go off to college or university: their “faint faith” fades. In his case, it took about a decade before he found faith illuminating his life again.
Most of us have observed this same thing happening to young people we know; some of us have experienced it first-hand. It's a common enough experience, and sadly, not everyone returns to a life of faith.
If you have grandchildren who are going off to college or university, or beginning a career, don't underestimate the good influence you can have on them as they begin to make independent choices.
Specifically you can:
* Stay in touch. Of-the-moment communication like e-mail and texting is valuable, but so is a loving, old fashioned hand-written letter. It's a tangible reminder that you are thinking of your grandchild.
* Stay interested but not intrusive. Ask questions about what your grandchild thinks about what he is studying, or the people he is meeting. Keep up with what is happening on his campus.
* Supply her need. Think about what small gift might encourage her: homemade cookies in the mail? Something practical like a gift card to an office supply store? A coffee mug with her university's logo? If you can afford it, supply it.
* Pray specifically for him as he goes to class. Pray he will be discerning when he hears other world views. Pray he will be wise in dealing with non-believers. Pray for his safety, his studies, the choices and decisions he will make.

House Beauty

There's a new school of fish “swimming” on our kitchen bulletin board today.
Some of our granddaughters got home from a lengthy vacation, and on the way home they stopped with their parents at a restaurant where the back of the children's menu was a picture of fish to color.
Those colored fish were the first things they gave us when they got home; I know the girls will be looking for them the next time they come over.
Sometimes when I see photographs of perfectly decorated rooms, I sigh, and think about how lovely it would be to live in a room like that. I look around at our kid-art decorated, toy-strewn home, weigh the family against perfection, and the family wins every time.
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

E-mail Exchange

I had a nice surprise yesterday -- e-mails from two of my grandchildren. Their mom had them dictate their messages as she typed, and I got to hear about frog-catching, a special new book, and scary movies. Hugs and kisses -- lots of xxxs and ooos -- adorned each e-mail. What a day brightener!
Mindful of e-mail etiquette, I responded right away. I can only hope they are as cheered by my response as I was thinking of them sitting on my daughter's lap, dictating their messge.
If you are wishing you could talk with a grandchild, ask her parent if exchanging e-mail might be a possibility.

Getting Together

If you are thinking about planning a family reunion, may I suggest an article I wrote for the current issue of Midwestern Family magazine? You'll find tips for planning a fun time for your extended family, and ways to make the most of your time together, as well as suggestions for nurturing relationships. Although the article is not available online, the website will give you information about where to find the magazine locally or by mail.

Creativity

Creativity is one of the best parts of education; learning is an onerous chore without it.
I'm not talking about the kind of creativity that is caricatured as something woo-hooey, something kind of spacey, kind of not-of-this-world.
I like what Miriam Huffman Rockness says, “The creative person is an artist in living, taking all the raw materials of life and shaping them imaginatively.” I think her point is pertinent: a creative person is rooted in real life.
It can be tempting, once we reach a certain age, to quit learning, to stop being excited about life. Creativity dies when we hold that attitude. Worse, we set a bad example for those who come after us.
The psalmist, in “A Song for the Sabbath” (Psalm 92) writes, “The righteous flourish like the palm tree, and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the LORD, they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bring forth fruit in old age, they are ever full of sap and green, to show that the LORD is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.” (Psalm 92:12-15.)
Reading this makes me giggle. It seems to say that even in old age it's good to be sappy, full of life and green. Creative. Still bringing forth fruit.
That's what I hope for. That's what I want to share with my children, and with my grandchildren.

Back to School

Kids everywhere -- or at least their parents -- are getting ready to go back to school.
Grandparents have a role to play in the education of their grandchildren. I just wrote about this for the SpringfieldMoms On-line Newsletter. You can read the article Grandma’s House: Help Your Grandkids Love Learning at Every Age here.
Here are some other tips for playing a role in your grandchild's education:
Model an attitude of excitement about learning – your enthusiasm is contagious.
* Let him know you're still interested in learning new things. Let him in on your learning projects and keep him up on your progress.
* If you collect something, share that collection with him. Explain why you find it fascinating in a way that will interest him.
* Express your own curiosity. Ask questions and show interest in the why and how of things, and seek answers.
Find a way to share what you're interested in with your grandchild in an age-appropriate way.
* Share what you're learning with him at a level he can understand and be interested in.
* Don't overwhelm him with facts and figures, or opportunities he's not ready for or interested in.
* Having fun is appropriate at every age. If you enjoy something, just share your pleasure in it. Your grandchild will catch on!
Create a relationship that encourages interest and allows exploration.
* Listen to her questions. Respond in a way that communicates that you take her seriously.
* Show her where to find answers, whether that's in books, reference materials, or online. Introduce her to people you know who have expertise in what she wants to learn about.
Affirm your grandchild's curiosity.
* Respect her interests, even if you don't share them. Don't laugh at her for having questions, or for not knowing something.
* Encourage her to learn more about the things she's most interested in.
* Ask her questions of your own. Often you can direct her curiosity by the questions you ask.
Express confidence in your grandchild's ability to learn.
* Take his efforts to learn seriously.
* Let him know you believe his interests are worthwhile. If you aren't sure that they are, express your doubt respectfully, and offer an alternative.
* Help him locate the tools he needs to learn, whether it's a good dictionary or some kind of tool he needs to carry out his projects.
If you love learning, if you have things to share with your grandchildren -- make the time, take the opportunities to encourage them to love learning, too.

Tradition!

Do you have seasonal traditions with your grandchildren?
I've been checking with my kids to see when the grandkids go back to school. The past few years I've tried to bake “back-to-school cookies” for each grandchild who's going to school, even if it's just pre-school.
I learned the hard way, though, that I have to begin planning in time. If I want to have cookies to the kids on that first day of school I can't wait too long -- some of our kids go back to school in three weeks!
For the grandkids who live farther away, I mail the cookies, and of course, that also takes time. The United States Postal Service offers flat rate boxes that are just the right size for a good supply of cookies. I wrap each cookie individually in wax paper or plastic wrap to keep them from crumbling, and add a kid-friendly magazine or coloring book in the box as padding.
For the grandkids who live close enough for a personal delivery I try to make the cookie presentation fun, wrapping them up in a special bowl.
Sometimes I add some cocoa packets, and always an encouraging letter.
Baking in the summer isn't as cozy as baking on a snowy day, but the end result is the same: happy kids and grandkids!

Stories and Stuff

I noticed the other night that it's getting dark just a little earlier each night. It made me remember summer nights when I was a girl -- bike rides at dusk, walking home from the local swimming pool after dark, ice cream with mom and dad on the front porch -- even an occasional summer thunderstorm echoing over the river that ran a block away from our house.
Each of us has stories to share with our children and grandchildren about what our growing up years were like. Have you told those stories to your children and grandchildren? Have you preserved any of the photographs or other mementoes that call those stories to mind?
We have an entire small room, about the size of a walk-in closet, with nothing but family artifacts and photographs. They are semi-organized, and every now and then my husband says “We need to get those photographs in some kind of usable form.”
He's right, and the best use I can think of is to let our kids and grandkids know their family history, using the photographs we've collected and the stories we remember.
Hallmark Magazine has a special publication out right now called Memory Keeping; I picked up a copy today at our local Hallmark shop. It's full of scrapbooking ideas, free clip art, and encouragement. Some of these ideas might be helpful as we set about sharing these family treasures.
The trick is to connect the stories with the stuff so that our family understands why the stuff has value to us. What good is a bowling trophy without the story about your high school bowling team? Why keep those old cookbooks unless you know the story of how your mom learned to cook from them?
It may seem as if our kids don't want to keep the stuff or hear the stories, but these things are like vegetables: they're good for you, even if you don't realize it now. Having things organized and written down is a good way to be sure our kids get the benefit of what we've experienced and learned, even if they aren't willing to listen right now. Chances are good that someday they'll want to know what we're trying to tell them!

Celebrating a New Baby

We received the gift of a new grandchild last week, our tenth. You might think it gets to be familiar but it doesn't -- each time, each grandchild is a thrill, and watching our kids become parents is an incredible blessing.
It's a privilege to celebrate with our kids as they add to their family. How do you celebrate a new baby?
Here are some ideas:
* Be there if you are welcome. Don't underestimate the value of your presence. On the other hand if your kids make it clear that they would like privacy, give them that, too.
* When it comes to gifts, think about what will bring joy to your kids. Do they enjoy fresh flowers or a planter from the florist? Flowers from your garden? Or maybe a freshly baked pie?
* If you bring something for the new baby, try to make it something they need, or something that will make them smile. We try to bring something the baby needs -- clothes, blankets, diapers, but we've also taken the dresses our daughters wore home from the hospital to our daughters when they've given birth to their first daughters, and we've taken the photograph of our new-born son taken in the hospital as a gift when he celebrated the birth of his son.
* Consider the gift of a book for the baby -- a book is always a good gift.
* Another good gift is a CD of music for the baby -- lullabies, or quiet classical music, or a mix of your favorite kid songs.
* Celebrate with a special meal with the new family. Fix it yourself, carry it in from your favorite restaurant (not fast food!) or give the new parents a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant.
* Let the new parents see your joy and affirmation.
* If you go to help when a new baby is born, do the dishes, the laundry, and the sweeping up -- let the new parents take care of the baby!
* Thank God together for the blessing of new life.
How do you celebrate?

4-H Fun -- Learning with a Purpose

All over the country, kids and their families are celebrating the end of another year of 4-H with a fair. And there's reason to celebrate! 4-H is an organization that helps kids acquire proficiency in life skills of all kinds, with the help of caring adults intent on passing on their own skills.

I wrote about passing on skills in a column for Hearts at Home which is currently running on their website; you can read it here.

If you know a child who'd like to learn a new skill -- and what child wouldn't? -- offer to teach her. You'll both have fun!