Cleaning with Kids

We had four of our granddaughters stay with us recently, and I put them to work.
They range in age from 6 years to 15 years, and didn't seem to mind at all.
It was a cold, grey, drippy spring day – the kind of day that lends itself to whining and boredom. I didn't want to act that way in front of my grandkids, so I planned a day of chores.
When I told them I had chores for them, they cheered. Probably because most kids don't mind working if – a big if – an adult is working alongside them.
Kids learn a lot when they work with us – new skills, attitudes, jokes, family history, ways of being. Conversations go a lot easier when our hands are busy with work.
So we cleaned the refrigerator – almost a biology lesson based on green stuff, which made for a lot of laughter and teasing – and one closet full of games and winter coats. Then we tackled the kitchen cabinets, and when one of the girls put the spice cabinet back together she was so pleased with herself! Who cares if I still can't find the oregano???
Sometimes we think we need to entertain our children and grandchildren with fun games and other special activities. There's nothing wrong with those things, but most of the time they will enjoy working with us as long as we are right there with them.
Who knew?

May Day Fun . . .

April is very nearly over, and tomorrow is May Day.
My mom worked for a wallpaper and paint store, and each season she would bring home the outdated wallpaper pattern books. We felt rich – so much pretty paper to use for doll houses, or letters, or May Day baskets.
Our favorite was the cone shaped basket, with a pipe-cleaner handle. We'd fill it with penny candy, popcorn, and top it off with flowers from the yard, whatever was fresh and fragrant.
We'd tiptoe to the neighbors early in the morning – or sometimes very late in the afternoon – and leave the basket hanging on their door. We'd hide and watch the fun as they opened the door and found their gift.
If you're close enough, leave a May Day basket for someone you love – a grandchild, or a close neighbor. You can use almost anything – an empty juice can, construction paper, left-over wallpaper – you're limited only by your imagination.
Fill it up with goodies, then leave it where it will be found. Ring the bell, and run!

Eyes to See

I talked with a MOPS group last week about “Kindling a Sense of Wonder in Your Child.” I came away feeling as if I had missed the mark, but that happens sometimes.
One of the things I discussed was introducing your child to nature. This is something a grandparent can do, too. Just today I was out walking in our yard, trying to open my eyes to spring unfolding. Here are some of the things I noticed:
* a constellation of violets in the grass – they look like tiny stars, studding the yard.
* the tips of every branch on the pine trees are loaded with tiny pine cones.
* cardinals were calling to each other, and tiny finches were singing.
* the bark on our big mulberry tree is rough, multi-colored, and good for squirrels to gain footing on.
* the bluebells are beginning to bloom.
* tiny grape hyacinth surprise a careful observer.
* ducks paddle in the creek without making a sound.
* the lilac is leafing out so quickly it's as if an invisible hand is painting it green.
Having eyes to see makes the world a much richer place.

Turn Off the What???

April 21 is the first day of Turn-Off-the-Television week according to a column written by Julie Kaiser, for the Bloomington Pantagraph – you can read it for yourself at The Pantagraph website, www.Pantagraph.com.

Julie writes about how hard it is to avoid using television as a child care helper. How well I remember! And as a grandma, it can still be a temptation.

I think it's harder for young moms; it's hard for them to carve out time to do things that are necessary, not to mention finding quiet time to gather themselves together. As Julie explains, sometimes television provides just the thing to keep the kids entertained while she gets a few things done.

As a grandma I have the luxury of time to get ready with alternative activities. I have “down time” to prepare things to do in the limited time I have with my grandchildren, so television isn't quite the resource it used to be.

Julie is my daughter, and experienced first-hand having Captain Kangaroo and Big Bird as babysitters. She grew up to be a remarkable young woman, creative, bright, engaged.

It's not that television can't be used wisely – it's just that there is so much more we can do.

What's your favorite non-television activity for your kids/grandkids to do?

Back from Vacation . . .

There is something about a vacation that re-sets schedules.

We took a vacation right after Easter, and it's taken me this long to get caught up. Either life is speeding up or I'm slowing down – or both!

We spent most of a week at the beach with our daughter, her family, and some friends, wading, building sand castles, looking for shells and other beach treasures. We played games, read books, and ate wonderful meals. We celebrated the 7 year old's birthday, went on the Glorious Gardens tour in Charleston, South Carolina, and generally had a relaxing time together.

Vacationing with grandchildren can be a great way to bond with them, and make memories that will last for several lifetimes – your own, and theirs.

A Poem is a Good Guest

The bookshelf in my bedroom holds some amazing treasures. One of my favorites is The Golden Treasury of Poetry, Selected and with a commentary by Louis Untermeyer, illustrated by Joan Walsh Anglund. Inside there is an inscription: To Holly, our granddaughter, from Grandma and Grandpa.

Both grandparents could – and often did, to our delight – recite poetry they had learned as schoolchildren. Grandma especially enjoyed sitting with us right beside her as she read to us. She favored story poems like those James Whitcomb Riley wrote, and often added dramatic flair as she read.

Those poems were, as Ted Kooser says, Grandma's invited guests, desired for their ability to entertain, to educate, to delight. She shared them with us as if they were great treasures – which they have proven, over time, to be.

The rhythm and cadence, the rhyme and sound of poetry add important elements to a child's language development, not to mention fun. As a child gets older there is a sense of play, a sense of story, a sense of a widening world in poems like “Little Orphan Annie,” “The Highwaymen,” “The Tyger,” and others.

As moms and grandmas we can introduce our children and grandchildren to different kinds of poetry, different authors, different word pictures. As we do that, we share a treasure with them, a guest to enrich their lives.

The Words of Our Mouth . . .

Based on conversations I've overheard lately, family relationships can be a blessing or a curse.

To be honest, I've been blessed both by my family and by my in-laws. My husband's family was welcoming even when they might have been skeptical about his choice of a bride! And our children are a joy to us, our sons and daughters-in-law, without exception, have blessed us and enriched our family; our grandchildren are a delight. Even our in-laws' extended families have been a blessing!

But recently I was in a situation where I couldn't avoid overhearing a young woman talking with friends about her family life, especially about a minor disagreement she'd had with her in-laws. Her attitude toward them was careless and rude. I don't know if she would speak directly to them that way, but with her friends she was dismissive of them, mistrusting their motives and their methods. And she wasn't alone!

Her friends joined in, recounting their in-laws' mis-steps and mistakes. Equally rude and dismissive, they seemed to try to top one another's stories about their clueless in-laws.

Not only that, they included a running commentary about their own children's shortcomings.

I wondered to myself if they had any idea how ungrateful and self-centered they sounded.

I know mothers-in-law can be equally tactless when they discuss their sons- and/or daughters-in-law or grandchildren, and I'm always sad to hear that, too.

This conversation was quite different from one I actually took part in several days later. These young moms were talking about their in-laws, specifically gifts their mothers-in-law had given them.

These moms recognized that, while some gifts had missed the mark widely, the thought and intent behind those gifts was loving. Their stories were funny, their attitudes gracious. Instead of being insulted or bitterly resenting some odd gift choices, they focused on the deeper message, the effort their in-laws had put into pleasing them. And these young women were much more fun to be with than the first group!

We are called to live together in love, so that we might build healthy, strong families. How much better to live that way, than to tear one another down carelessly over things that are better addressed with direct, honest, kind communication.

Family relationships, even good ones, require effort and maturity. How we talk about each other both reveals and shapes our hearts.

The words we use about our in-laws and other family members reveals our hearts; bitter words spring from a bitter heart. Careless words bubble up from a careless heart, and on it goes – our words merely give expression to our inner attitudes.

Our conversation shapes our hearts because the more we allow ourselves to complain about a situation (without trying first to remedy it) the more we invite bitterness and dissatisfaction in.

As wives and moms we have a choice: we can build our families in love, or we can tear them down carelessly. A lot depends on what we have to say about one another.

More Easter Books . . .

Today the sun came out, and a welcome sight it was, indeed -- the air wasn't too much warmer, but the forecast is promising, and not only is spring coming, but so is Easter!

As a mom or a grandma, reading with the small children at your house is a privilege as well as a pleasure. With books you introduce that little person to ideas, to beauty, and to fun. Keeping that all in mind, here are more new Easter books to share with the little ones you love.

* For infants and toddlers, two egg-shaped books sized for little fingers offer age-appropriate perspective on Palm Sunday and Easter. In Hosanna by Jesslyn DeBoer, illustrated by Susan Miller, Little Lamb watches as children prepare to welcome Jesus into Jerusalem. In The First Easter, also written by Jesslyn DeBoer, simple words and illustrations will keep your child's attention as Little Lamb visits the garden where Jesus's friends hear He is still alive. Hosanna is a Zondervan Gifts book, while The First Easter is published by ZonderKidz.

* The Legend of the Sand Dollar, by Chris Auer, illustrated by Rick Johnson, recounts the story of Kerry, a young girl staying with extended family just before Easter. Lonely, she is comforted when her cousin Jack explains all the ways a sand dollar tells the story of Easter. Evocative illustrations add charm. This ZonderKidz book is appropriate for children ages 4-8 years old.

* Popular author Liz Curtis Higgs wrote The Parable of the Lily for children roughly the same ages. Although this book isn't new, the story of Maggie and the curious gift she receives in the mail is one that children will enjoy. Illustrated by Nancy Munger, The Parable of the Lily includes Scripture at the bottom of almost every page in a way that ties Maggie's story to the Biblical story of Easter, without overwhelming Maggie's story. The Parable of the Lily is published by Tommy Nelson, a division of Thomas Nelson Publishers.

* Finally, The Story of Easter by Christopher Doyle and John Haysom, is written for older children, and could be read independently or with a parent or grandparent. Published by Concordia Publishing House (www.cph.org) this book simply retells the Scriptural story of Easter in a way that answers many of the questions a child of 8 – 12 might have about the Easter story. The thoughtful illustrations add to a child's understanding of the story.

As we prepare to celebrate the Easter holiday, consider adding a good book about why we are celebrating to your child's library. If you live some distance away, send a book or two in the mail; if you live nearby, share a book in person.

Easter Books to Share . . .

Despite the snow, Easter is coming!

Although we are still observing Lent, we look forward to the celebration that is coming. I've been checking out some of the new (at least, new to me) books for children about Easter. It's been fun to find old favorites as well as new treasures to share with the littlest ones in our lives.

Here are three I especially like; I'll write about several more books later:

* The Miracles of Jesus, by Tomie DePaola, is illustrated in DePaola's signature folk style, and covers 12 of the miracles Jesus performed, including the wedding at Cana, the loaves and fishes, and the centurion's daughter. The language is “retold from the Bible” -- straightforward and child-friendly. Although it's not strictly an “Easter” book, it is a good book to share with your child as you talk about Jesus during the Easter season. (paperback, Puffin Books, c. 1987; www.penguin.com/youngreaders)

* Benjamin's Box, story by Melody Carlson, illustrations by Jack Stockman. This book, designed to complement Resurrection Eggs from FamilyLife (www.familylife.org), tells the story of Benjamin's treasure box. The items he puts inside – things like a bit of straw, a coin, a cup -- all have to do with the story of Jesus's life, death, and resurrection, and help Benjamin understand the meaning of those events. You don't need a set of Resurrection Eggs to enjoy the story, but if you have them, your child will probably enjoy their connection to the story. (ZonderKidz, revised copyright 2008, Zondervan; www.zonderkidz.com)

* Easter in The Garden, written by Pamela Kennedy, illustrated by David Wenzel. This book focuses on the events of Good Friday through Jesus's resurrection through the eyes of Micah, a little boy who wants to grow up to be a gardener like his father. When his friend Jesus is killed “by some bad men” he is sad, but an early morning visit to his favorite garden brings surprise and joy. The illustrations in this book are small-child charming, and the story is one of the best I've seen for small children; it deals with difficult things in a gentle way. I highly recommend it! (Ideals Children's Books, text c. 2008, Pamela Kennedy; art copyright 2008, David Wenzel)

It's always a good time to share a book with a child!

Snowy Fun

It's been snowy here in the Midwest this winter – one of the snowiest winters we've had in a long time. We've enjoyed hearing about all the snowy activities our grandkids have indulged in, especially how our one-and-a-half year old grandson has taken over snow shoveling duties at his house!

Distance and ice-packed roads usually keep us from getting in on the snow-fun with our grandkids, so I've been wondering how I can share in their wintry pleasure. Here are a few ideas I've come up with:

*snowy stationery: a few cotton balls and scraps from my scrapbox are easily turned into snowmen and snow-scenes on a piece of stationery. At the bottom of your snow-scene, add a note about some of your own snow-adventures as a child, and send! (You might want to use a larger-than-usual envelope.)

*snow cookies: frost - or "ice" - some cut-out sugar cookie snowmen; add shredded coconut for textural interest. Miniature chocolate chips work for buttons and eyes, and whip licorice makes a great snowman mouth.

*popcorn balls make a great indoor substitute for snowballs – just don't start throwing them! Instead, serve them with a wintry movie on a cold afternoon. If your grandkids aren't close enough to do this, pack a “Snowy Movie Box” and invite them to enjoy a movie afternoon, courtesy of grandma and the United States Mail.

With a little thought you'll come up with your own ideas for snowy fun with your grandkids, even if you can't be there in person. Feel free to share them with us!