Grandma on Board

Coming Right Up . . .

2011-11-14T09:28:00.004-06:00

Thanksgiving is coming right up, which means that this week means getting down to cleaning and baking.

It feels like stage management: what we're doing is setting the stage, so to speak, for our family and friends to come together and celebrate. Pleasant surroundings and good food contribute to the over-all experience, and that's where the cleaning and baking come in.

A clean, welcoming home, filled with the fragrances of good food, is the foundation of fun. Making sure there are comfortable places for guests to hang their coats, to sit and visit, to eat, and to have fun together means our guests are more likely to have a good time together.

So this week is scrubbing, washing, dusting, and maybe even a little furniture moving; it's baking and planning menus and shopping. The goal is to create a space and time when we can relax together, and remember how much we love each other; to cherish old memories and make new ones. We'll take pictures, tell stories, laugh -- and eat!

Building a family can seem difficult at times, tedious at others -- the work of it sometimes seems to go on and on and on. But what a harvest! The day comes when all that hard work bears fruit, and we see our loved ones enjoying one another's company, caring for each other, welcoming spouses and children and friends into the family circle. And that fruit, that harvest, is something to give thanks for.

It's coming right up!

The Need to Nest . . .

2011-11-05T11:06:00.004-05:00

As the season changes, I'm reminded of the importance of a cozy nest. We all need one: some place where we are sheltered, protected, comfortable.

I love to study the ways birds build their nests. They use all kinds of materials: mud, straw, string, bits of plants and flowers -- they are practical and creative and what they end up with is usually sturdy as well as pretty.

We're looking around our nest with an eye to change. What do we need to change, adjust, rearrange so our nest will be more efficient, more practical, more pretty?

And how about you -- how's your nest?

Change of Season

2011-11-02T08:09:00.002-05:00

Is there ever a time when things aren't changing?

We had to cut down a tree this fall, to accommodate some construction work being done on the bridge by our house.

It seems wrong to cut down a healthy tree, but in this case, cutting down one linden tree may have saved at least one other healthy tree.

Still, change is difficult.

The Sandwich Generation

2011-05-26T14:38:00.003-05:00

These past few weeks have been busy ones.

I’m the peanut butter in a generational sandwich, helping my aging mom at the very same time my kids are raising their own kids and looking to me for a measure of involvement in their lives, and even occasional help.

It’s a rich blessing to be involved with multiple generations. It’s also a recipe for intense busyness.

I find myself sandwiching mom’s doctor appointments in between end-of-the-school-year events my grandkids have invited me to. Or I fit in watching a 2-year old between my mom’s women’s group game night and fixing my husband’s dinner.

Speaking of my husband, he has his own calendar of events and occasions he’d like us to be part of; he’s a patient man, but he’d like some time and attention, too. It almost seems selfish to mention the long-delayed career, the hobbies and interests, the other friends I’d like to have time for.

I’m certainly not alone in facing these issues. Many women – and men – around my age are helping to care for aging parents even as they carry responsibility for younger family members, work, and civic duties.

How do we fit it all in? How do we make it all work? Where are the practical tips that will help us manage all the things we’re trying to manage?

Let’s talk about that over these next few weeks.

What's Cooking?

2011-05-10T07:46:00.005-05:00

I’ve promised myself I’m going to exercise self-discipline. I’m just going to say no. I’m not going to buy another cook-book.

It’s not like I don’t have enough. We have an entire bookcase of cookbooks, and in the kitchen, several more shelves of cookbooks and recipe card files.

But one of our daughters is tempting me with her new favorite cookbook. It’s filled with recipes for things I’ve always wanted to try, both to cook and to eat. The directions are clear, and the text is fun to read – just what I like in a cookbook.

I like to cook, and I like to read about cooking. Reading a good cookbook is like having a conversation with someone who likes the same things I do. The photographs and illustrations inspire me, new ingredients and recipes intrigue me.

“I could do that,” I tell myself smugly, as if creating a three-layer coconut cream cake is, well, a piece of cake.

The problem is that all the hungriest people have moved out of our house into homes of their own, and the preacher and I can’t possibly eat everything I can cook or bake. Oh, the hungry people all come back regularly, and they bring their own little hungry people with them, but their visits aren’t regular enough to justify the kind of cooking I used to do. And while the preacher’s a good sport, he does occasionally take note of the left-overs.

Sharing a meal with people you love is one of life’s most persistent blessings. Like most blessings, it involves a fair amount of effort, but even that effort becomes something of a blessing when the work is shared. Showing the kids you love how to shuck corn or peel potatoes or make a piecrust is not only helpful – it can be fun. The cook gets some help, and the helper gains a new skill, not to mention that lovely feeling of contribution and accomplishment.

A good cookbook is an encouragement, offering direction, instruction, and vision. It’s a back-up for when the cook runs out of ideas – or patience in instruction. And having a shelf-full of cookbooks is like having a kitchen full of friends.

So what's your favorite new cookbook?

Spring Flowers

2011-05-03T10:28:00.001-05:00

Lilacs are blooming now, even the ancient bush that blooms purple at the very back of our yard. Last fall, we thought it was done for; it looked ragged, as if it would not survive the winter. Somehow it rallied this cool, damp spring, and is crowned with blooms now.

All the spring bulbs’ blooms have lasted a long time this spring, courtesy of the cool damp. Even the anemones are still blooming, dark blue punctuation marks in the grass. The lily of the valley is almost ready to bloom, and sitting in the swing is a lovely, fragrant adventure.

By the end of winter, I am so ready for warm – OK, hot – weather. The past few years I’ve gotten my wish, and spring has gone by so quickly that even the spring flowers bloomed a day or two, then succumbed to the heat: a perfect example of be-careful-what-you-wish-for.

This year, though, our yard has been a long-running show of spring flowers, and it’s been fun to see the kids we love playing among them, hiding Easter eggs in them, trying to pick them to bring in the house, leaning over to smell them.

One of the pleasures of gardening is the way it transforms outdoor space into a place to live in, a place of grace, beauty, and delight. Sharing it with the kids we love is just another way of enjoying the fruit of our gardening labors.

Too Wet for Gardening? Not Too Wet for Reading . . .

2011-04-26T10:46:00.001-05:00

Here in the Midwest, it’s been a soggy spring – not the best for early gardening outdoors. Even so, there are things we can do to encourage a love for gardening: starting seeds indoors, looking through gardening wishbooks (otherwise known as catalogs), reading up on new plants, or new ways of doing familiar tasks in the garden.

And we can read those books about gardens and gardening with the people we love.

Here are some of my favorite garden books to share with the kids I love:

** Of course, for the youngest set, Beatrix Potter’s Peter Cottontail books. I remember being all curled up in a big double bed while my grandma read them to me and my sister when we were little girls. Peter was her special favorite – I think she had a thing for bad little rabbits! I can remember looking at the pictures of Mr. MacGregor’s garden and wishing I could visit. These gentle stories are still fun to read to little people.

** The Gardener, by Sarah Stewart, tells the story of a little girl who’s been transplanted into the city during the Depression. In this Caldecott Honor book, the seeds her grandma sent with her from the family farm transform her corner of the city as well as the people who live there.

** Mrs. Spitzer’s Garden, by Edith Pattou, is a fun book about a different kind of gardener. Perfect for the child who will be going to school next year for the first time!

So, what garden books do you like to read with the kids you love?

Grow a Garden, Grow a Relationship . . .

2011-04-06T10:39:00.000-05:00

Want to have a lot of fun with the kids you love? Grow a garden together.

Sharing an interest in something green and growing will help to grow your relationship, too.

Plan what to plant together, and keep track of how it grows. Even if you don’t live near one another, you can share your experiences by e-mail, or snail mail, or on Skype, or by taking photographs of what’s happening in your garden and sending them to one another. Ask questions. Volunteer information. Look things up together, either online or at your local library, and share what you find out. Rejoice in one another’s successes, and learn from each other’s mistakes.

If you live close enough to one another to actually share the work of a garden, share the work! Invite the kids you love to help you get the soil ready and plant together. Water, mulch, and cultivate together. Pull weeds together. Keep track of how the garden is doing together. Harvest flowers and vegetables together. Put the flowers on the dining room table, prepare the vegetables, and share a meal together, and enjoy the fruit of your patience and labor – together.

It takes patience to grow a gardener. Kids who are just beginning to garden are almost sure to walk in the wrong places, water the weeds, and pull the carrots out before they’re quite ready, just to check on them. (Seriously, how do you think chefs figured out the value of baby carrots?)

Working together in a garden is one way to encourage the kids you love to appreciate gardening. It’s more than that, though. The conversations you have about gardening – whether they are long-distance or in person conversations – help shape your relationship. And the experiences you share -- having fun together, learning new skills, accomplishing something tangible – nurture the relationship and help it grow.

Watch for more ideas in the days ahead!

Spring Planting Time!

2011-04-02T13:30:00.001-05:00

This time of year, I love to find seed packets at the grocery store.

What a fun thing to share with your grandchildren!

Why not pick up a packet of radish seeds, or sunflower seeds, or seeds for some other green and growing thing, and send it to your grandchild, along with a note encouraging them to try planting it?

And while you’re at it, share your seed-stories with them. Tell them about the gardens you’ve grown, or the vegetables you’ve harvested. Share your stories about herbs, or four-o-clocks, or zinnias as an encouragement.

Pick up a few seed packets for your own garden, too, and let your grandkids know what you’ll be trying your green thumb at this season!

Watch for more grandkid-gardening ideas in the days ahead!

Just for Fun . . .

2011-03-16T08:02:00.002-05:00

The job description for moms and grandmas is a long one, and includes things like “inspire-er” or “encourager” or “resource person.”
Resource person? Well, yes – even the inspire-er and the encourager need inspiration and encouragement now and then. We need to know where about resources that inspire and encourage us, so that we can inspire and encourage our families.
Here’s a fun, inspiring, encouraging site for those of us who enjoy being outdoors, who enjoy the natural world, and who want to encourage our families to enjoy those things, too.
Sharon Lovejoy has written a number of books , including Toad Cottages & Shooting Stars, that encourage exploring the natural world. Her blogsite, Sharon Lovejoy Writes from Sunflower House and a Little Green Island, does the same thing on a regular basis.
Make time to visit – you’ll be inspired, encouraged, and challenged to learn and do more, and to have fun in the meantime!

Work Worth Doing . . .

2011-03-14T09:42:00.000-05:00

Most of the work we do as wives, as moms and grandmas, is the work of a support staff.
It’s not particularly glamorous. It’s not always exciting or stimulating. It’s not usually financially rewarding.
But it is extremely satisfying.
It’s satisfying to see the long-term reward for your effort.
It can be hard in the day-to-day to see that keeping the counters wiped up and the floors vacuumed and mopped is creating a place that is clean, that smells fresh and inviting, that feels like a place your family wants to come home to.
It can be difficult in the moment-to-moment to realize that kind words, thoughtful deeds, and beautiful touches are crucial in creating the kind of home where your family feels safe and nurtured.
It can be exhausting in the long term to consider how often you will set the table for a meal, or make the beds, or load the dishwasher or the clothes washer or give the kids a bath, even though those are the things that make up the rhythms of family life, and create a foundation for your family’s health and stability.
Creating a home and family life together involves its fair share of drudgery, but it is also a work of faithfulness, a work of art, and a work of significance, and it is work worth doing.

Five Ways to Share Your Love for Music

2011-03-11T07:56:00.001-06:00

How do you share your love for music with your children and grandchildren?
Here are five ideas:
** Play a variety of music for your family to listen to. Change up pop and rock with a little bit of country, a little bit of classical, a little bit of sacred music.
** Experiment: be willing to listen to music you’re not familiar with. Try music your family likes. Occasionally try some music none of you have tried. Make use of radio; with internet radio stations, you can find almost any kind of music you’d like to try.
** Make music together. Sing together in the car. Have age-appropriate instruments to play – even a small child can practice rhythm with two pan lids, and older children will have fun with harmonicas, recorders, or finger cymbals. Don’t forget to join in the fun!
** Go to concerts, even if you don’t know any of the performers. From school concerts to concerts in the park, to a local concert hall – experience live music.
** Connect the music you listen to with stories of the musicians and their lives and times. Music is an integral part of history, and affects everything from the evolution of instruments to costumes and clothing. Knowing the background can enrich the music.

And Now -- This Week's Top Ten . . .

2011-03-09T19:54:00.001-06:00

Music is multi-purpose. It moves us, it motivates us, it makes us happy.
If you had to choose the songs that would give your kids or grandkids a sense of who you are, which songs would you choose? And why?
Here are some of the songs I’d be choosing from:
** Be Thou My Vision . . . because it’s become our family hymn.
** Rocky, Rock . . . a lullaby I sang to my kids and now, sing to my grandkids; it’s a tune I made up, woven into Jesus Loves Me and Tura Lura Lura.
** Handel’s Messiah . . . yes, the whole thing, because how can you just choose one part?
** Sheep May Safely Graze, a song of home, and Home
** Beach Boys, Fun, Fun, Fun
** Holden’s Evening Prayer, especially “Let My Prayer Rise Up” . . . a foretaste of heaven when sung with people you love
** Star Spangled Banner, because I love being a citizen of this country
** Bali Hai, from Rodgers and Hammerstein’s South Pacific, because I always wanted to go there
** Moonlight in Vermont, because I always wanted to go there, too
** Cape Cod Bay, because I always thought I would go there
That’s just ten pieces of music, and that’s just a start. It doesn’t include anything by Johnny Cash, or Garth Brooks, or Trisha Yearwood or Alison Krause. There’s no Huey Lewis or Stevie Ray Vaughn in there, and no Yo Yo Ma. No Beatles, no Tom Petty, no Bonnie Raitt. And no Frank or Dean or Ella or Tony.
And it leaves out most of the hymnal, which is almost a category to itself.
So what would be on your list? How would you choose the music that identifies you?

Ten Things for Spring . . .

2011-03-07T08:31:00.002-06:00

We’ve been rushing the season at our house: the sidewalk chalk has already been in use. Giggling grandkids created a welcoming mural on the front sidewalk the first warm afternoon of the wishing-it-were-spring season. While a wet snow erased most of their hard work, a rainbow survived to remind us that spring really will come soon, and with it, the chance to get outside and play.

As spring warms up and family members head outdoors to play, it’s good to have some “tools” for the work of childhood: play.

Here are ten things you might want to have on hand to facilitate outdoor fun:

** sidewalk chalk.

** bubbles

** jump ropes

** jacks

** a bucket for water play, with sponges, old measuring cups, butter
tubs, or other dipping containers

** balls of all kinds and sizes

** a wagon, trikes and bikes, scooters

** outdoor games like badminton, croquet, or whiffleball

** a sandbox with sandbox toys

** a blanket or two for tent-making or star-gazing

Throw in a sense of humor and a big dash of curiosity, and everyone involved will enjoy the new season.

What's your favorite thing for spring?

Come to Dinner . . .

2011-03-04T16:44:00.001-06:00

The front hall needs to be scrubbed, and I’m pretty sure there is an extended dust-bunny family living behind the dining room buffet. Someone – me? – needs to clean up the backyard where the dog has been. There are probably cobwebs in the corners of the living room. And while the basement certainly looks better than it did last fall, it’s also not entirely ready for guests.
Still, most of the family will be here for dinner tomorrow evening, and I’m so looking forward to seeing them.
The house won’t be perfectly in order, but then, it hardly ever is. If I waited for that to happen, no one would ever come to our house.
It’s a funny thing about hospitality – it sounds fun, at least until we begin thinking about all the getting-ready part. If we’re going to have guests, we think, we’d probably better clean up this, sort out that -- and before we know it, we’ve talked ourselves out of the whole thing.
Even – and sometimes, especially -- when it’s “just family,” we can be intimidated by what we think we need to do before we offer an invitation. And while it’s lovely to be invited into a well-kept house, it’s even lovelier to be welcomed with warmth and love.
That we can do.
Oh, I’m sure I’ll be picking up and polishing tomorrow, in between the cooking. Because I love my guests, I want to offer them the best hospitality I’m capable of.
It’s just that I know all too well it won’t be perfect. That’s all right. What will be perfect will be the laughter, the visiting, the sharing of an evening.
And that will be enough for me.

Investment Advice

2011-03-03T19:49:00.000-06:00

Although we've had a little bit of family time these past two months, it hasn't quite been the family time we'd hoped for.
Weather, flu, and extended family obligations kept us from getting together as often as we'd hoped. And while there's a lot to be said for planning, scheduling, and being pro-active, sometimes life simply doesn't cooperate, and our plans and schedules must bow to other realities.
In times like that, it's important to communicate to family members that we love them, even if we can't spend a lot of time with them at the moment. Whether it's a text, an online note or tweet, a postcard, or a quick phone call, just letting a child or grandchild -- or parent -- know we're thinking of them helps keep the connection between us in good working order.
So make that call. Write that text, or that note. Send that card.
Let them know that you love them, and that you are thinking of them.
It's one of the best investments you'll ever make.

Invitation List

2011-01-10T07:19:00.000-06:00

One of the granddaughters asked at Christmas if we could have a “cousins' tea” sometime after the new year. She was having so much fun playing with her cousins, she wanted to do it again -- soon! The only question is whether or not it should be an “elegant” tea, or a “baking” tea. (An elegant tea is one where the cookies are already baked.)
After consultation, we're thinking about sometime close to Valentine's Day. That means decorations, recipes, and all the other things dear to little girls' hearts. If we do it right, it will be quite some party!
And the next question is: do we invite the grandsons?
Do boys like tea parties? Or just cookies?

Write Me a Letter . . .

2011-01-05T06:46:00.003-06:00

Who doesn't like to get real mail?
For a child, a hand-written letter from a grandparent is something special, especially if it's written in a way that shows genuine appreciation for who the child is, and who she is becoming.
I was blessed with a letter-writing grandmother. From the time I learned to read, she took the time to write at least occasionally to fill me in on what she was doing, and to ask what I was up to.
Grandma favored a simple tablet of lined paper for everyday letters, but she took advantage of every card she sent to include a personal note, and if she had fancy stationery, she used it. Her letters were often no more than a recitation of who she was going uptown with, or what she was making for dinner, or which chores she was trying to get done, but despite their apparent ordinariness, I treasure the ones I still have -- they are a window onto her life.
I use a variety of post-cards for quick notes to grandchildren, because they allow me to share interests, encourage curiosity, and engage a child's imagination. I can dash off a postcard quickly, so I keep a good stock in the stationery drawer in my kitchen, along with stamps, stickers, and addresses. That way, if I have a moment while something is simmering, I can write a quick note to a grandchild.
I try to write thank you notes, too, when I receive gifts or pictures from my grandchildren. Besides showing my appreciation, thank you notes allow a child to experience the pleasure of receiving thanks for their gifts and effort. What better way to encourage them to write their own thank you notes?
E-mail, texting and twittering is all good, but a hand-written letter has staying power.

Counting Cranberries . . .

2010-11-22T07:27:00.000-06:00

Family traditions are one way of knitting a family together. There is something sweet and satisfying about shared anticipation, shared experiences, shared memories. Some of those traditions are handed on to us, and we are responsible for carrying them on, or reinterpreting and updating them; sometimes we create a new holiday tradition without meaning to.
Several years ago, I was trying to think of something that would be fun for the pre-schoolers in the family to do. I filled a mason jar with cranberries, set out some cards that asked “how many cranberries?” and promised a prize for the closest guess.
That simple game was an instant hit, and a new family Thanksgiving tradition.
I was surprised that the pre-schoolers remembered the cranberry game -- and requested that we do it again. So, the next Thanksgiving we did it again, substituting candy corn for the cranberries. Some of the older kids and grown-ups in the family joined in the game, and the “big reveal” was fun for everyone.
A holiday tradition that creates anticipation, offers fun for everyone, and leaves good memories is a winner all around. Sometimes we stumble into such traditions, but other times, we can be deliberate about trying something new that we hope will continue on: a special recipe, or a unique way of decorating, or a special way of expressing our thanks to God.
What new holiday tradition could you create this year?

Tradition!

2010-11-18T09:18:00.000-06:00

The preacher loves the movie Fiddler on the Roof, and one of his favorite songs from that movie is “Tradition.”
There is something satisfying -- reassuring -- about doing certain things the same way, over and over and over again. And messing around with family traditions has a price, as one of our daughters found out. (You can read her story about that, here.)
As grandparents, we have multiple opportunities to create, refine, and sustain family traditions. Those traditions help hold a family together, give the family a unique identity, and inject a sense of meaning and fun into our family life. While family traditions can become burdensome, that just means we need to take a look at how they are working, and perhaps update them.
And in truth, as our families grow up, those family traditions will change. The trick is to allow the shape of them to adapt to changing realities (children growing up, moving away, having children of their own) while retaining the inward meaning and pleasures of the tradition.
Like Advent calendars: it would be foolish to expect our grown children to come home every morning to open up an Advent calendar with us, wouldn't it? So how do we adapt that sweet family tradition to the new reality of grown-up children?
Maybe we provide Advent calendars for the grandkids, now, instead. Or perhaps we find a fresh Advent devotional booklet to share with our grown-up children.
In Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye teaches us that tradition is important because “it helps us keep our balance.” He's right, I think, but keeping our balance can be tricky, sometimes. Giving our families traditions that help them “keep their balance” is worthwhile.
Tradition -- how do you keep it fresh, but meaningful?

Holiday Baking

2010-11-16T11:26:00.001-06:00

I like to cook, and that's a problem.
It's also one of the most fun aspects of the holiday season.
The preacher and I have become true empty-nesters -- and connoisseurs of left-over cuisine. One pot of chili is good for a week of non-stop soup suppers, and a roast chicken can last at least that long, although at least the chicken can be disguised in casseroles and sandwiches.
I'm fortunate the preacher is a good sport, and not given to complaining.
But the holiday season is a different story -- we'll have family dinners, and drop-in company. And grandkids like cookies, lots and lots of cookies.
I'll be able to bake without loading up the freezer, safe in the knowledge that nothing will get stale.
How about you? What are you planning to cook up for the holidays?

Thanksgiving Mural Project

2010-11-11T19:16:00.001-06:00

If you're looking for a project to keep younger grandchildren busy on Thanksgiving while grown-ups are busy getting dinner on the table -- or cleaning up the table -- here's a simple project your grandkids are likely to enjoy.
Spend a few minutes re-telling the story of the first Thanksgiving. Explain what a difficult time the Pilgrims had after they arrived on the Mayflower, and how the Indians helped them survive. Describe some of the difficulties in detail: building shelter; finding and growing food; illness, bad weather, and the need for resourcefulness in problem-solving. Tell them about how the Pilgrims hosted a feast to thank God for their blessings after the harvest.
Then give them a roll of paper, some crayons, pencils, and basic craft supplies, and a place to work. Ask them to create a Thanksgiving mural for you. If necessary, get them started by suggesting a part of the story for each one to illustrate, then let them get busy.
By the time they've finished, you'll have a unique Thanksgiving decoration, and your grandkids will have a whole new perspective on the Thanksgiving story.

Can You Make a Cherry Pie?

2010-11-10T08:01:00.001-06:00

My grandma McG made the best cherry pies I've ever tasted. Her crusts were always flaky, and the cherry filling was just the right balance of tart-sweet. Her pies were pretty, too, with perfect lattice tops, shiny with egg white and delicately crusted with sugar.
Her chocolate pies -- and her lemon pies -- were good, too, piled high with meringue.
She'd learned to turn out perfect pies quickly when she and grandpa lived out on the farm when they were first married. Grandma cooked for the crews of threshers who'd come by each year, and she told me once it was better than a cooking class. “Those men were hungry, and they wanted lunch, not excuses,” she told me.
While I sometimes watched as grandma baked, I never thought to ask her to teach me what she was doing. I guess I just assumed she would always be around. And she never presumed to teach me.
She wasn't always around, of course. She died suddenly, leaving behind a grief-stricken family -- and a cherry pie on the counter.
I've thought often about that missed opportunity, and I'm pretty sure that if grandma had known how much I'd wish I could bake pies like she did, she would have shown me all her pie-making techniques and tricks. I just didn't think to ask, and she didn't think to tell me.
If you are blessed to still have a grandma who can show you how to do things, ask her to teach you. And if you are a grandma who might be able to share a skill with a grandchild, why not ask if she might like to learn?
Passing on skills is a gift that lasts.

Over the River . . .

2010-11-05T13:37:00.000-05:00

Remember that song from grade school? The one about “over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother's house we go . . . “
If you have grandkids coming to your house for Thanksgiving or any of the other holidays coming up these next few weeks, you are probably thinking about getting ready.
And if you have babies or toddlers coming, you might want to add “baby-proofing” to your list of things to do.
If it's been a while since you baby-proofed a house, you can find help by checking with your grandchild's parents, or online at Safe Beginnings.

Time for a Good Book

2010-11-04T08:54:00.001-05:00

Don't you love reading? Don't you love books? Sharing the magic between the covers of a book with our kids and grandkids is one of the pleasures of being a parent.
But books are more than just fun. Books can encourage, educate and elevate the character of their readers. And when we share a favorite book with a friend (or one of our kids or grandkids), we share a part of what makes us who we are.
I like to introduce my friends and family to the characters I've known (in the pages of books) and loved. Some of my favorites include Amelia Bedelia, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, and Mary Poppins.
The Amelia Bedelia series by Peggy Parrish reminds young readers that everyone gets things mixed up. As a child, that was reassuring information! Amelia Bedelia is a maid who does exactly what she is told, to great comic effect! This series now includes some “I Can Read” picture books for early readers, but they are also great fun to read together.
Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, who lives in an unusual house, understands everything she needs to know about children. Do you know an Answer-Backer or a Never-Want-to-go-to Bedder? Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle knows just what to do! Betty MacDonald's books will keep you all laughing even while you begin to recognize the benefits of good behavior.
If all you know of Mary Poppins is the movie, perhaps it's time to check out P. Travers' books about the practically-perfect nanny who has surprising ways of making children mind their manners as well as their parents. This is another good book to read together, and offers an easy way into a conversation about why manners and minding matter.
It's always a good time to share a good book with a child you love!

Hurry Up!

2010-11-02T08:02:00.001-05:00

The four-year old was helping pass the offering basket in church last Sunday. When she got to a row where the dad was taking a little too long to get his wallet out of his pocket, she put her hands on her hips and whispered emphatically, “Hurry up! We need that money!”
Kids -- you've got to love them!

Three More Ways . . .

2010-10-30T13:39:00.003-05:00

How do we let the children in our lives know we love them? Here are three more ways we can demonstrate our feelings to them:
Pray for them. Praying for our grandchildren (and for our own children as they parent our grandchildren) allows us to bring them before our heavenly Father regularly. What greater love could we demonstrate?
As we pray, we can ask for God's protection over them; for His blessing on them; and for Him to shape their character, their opportunities, and their faith in Him. We can pray that their relationships with their parents, their siblings, their friends, and their teachers will be healthy and holy. We can pray that they will meet challenges and adversities with grace, strength, and courage, and that they will be a blessing to those around them. We can pray that they will come to faith in God through Jesus Christ, and that they will experience the joy of the Lord in every area of their lives.
Share your skills, hobbies and interests with your grandchildren. If you like to fish, show them how to bait a hook or set up a tackle box. If you like to bake, share your favorite cookie recipes with them. If you like to hike, take them hiking, or at least on a walk around the neighborhood! Sharing the things that mean something to you is another way of demonstrating love to a child.
Show interest in what interests them. Ask him to tell you about the things he is doing, the books he is reading, the hobbies he participates in. Listen to his answers, then ask more questions. What sports does he participate in? Become a fan: go to a game or a meet. Go to a performance or a contest. Keep up with what he is doing, and talk with him about it.
Demonstrating your love for a child can be fun for both of you.

Three Ways to Demonstrate Love . . .

2010-10-27T10:24:00.000-05:00

Hugs are good for demonstrating love. And they offer an opportunity to check out how tall a grandchild is growing, which often leads to giggling.
Cookies are good for demonstrating love, especially if the grandchild is allowed to help bake them. If that's not possible, it's fun to receive them in the mail -- wrap each cookie individually to give it the best chance for crumb-free delivery -- or a tea party with freshly baked cookies says “I love you,” especially if you dress up for the occasion -- even if the costumes come from your dress-up box.
Letters and notes are good for demonstrating love, because who doesn't like to get mail? Enclosing a photograph of something you did together is an added bonus. Or you might include a poem, and invite your grandchild to memorize it, too, so that you can say it together when you see one another the next time.
It's not so much what we do to demonstrate our love, it's that we do something. Grandkids respond to love like sponges respond to water: they soak it up.
It's a mutual blessing.

Ways and Means . . .

2010-10-26T11:34:00.001-05:00

How do you show your grandchildren that you love them?
Hugs? Cookies? Letters?
And how do your grandkids respond?
Inquiring minds want to know . . .

Toad Cottages? Shooting Stars? Yes!

2010-10-23T10:39:00.003-05:00

I love good surprises, especially when they come in the mail.
Yesterday's delivery brought a delightful surprise: a book by Sharon Lovejoy, Toad Cottages & Shooting Stars. It's subtitled Grandma's Bag of Tricks, so you can imagine how excited I was to sit down and explore its pages.
This is a wonderful book for everyone, full of projects, information, and stories.
You can learn to make firefly lanterns, underwater viewers, critter cakes, and rain sticks, as well as over 125 other projects. All of them look fun -- the hard part will be choosing which ones to try first.
What makes it even better is that this book is child friendly. Projects are explained in enough detail for a novice, but offer challenges to kids and grandparents who know a little more about what they are doing.
If you're looking for projects to do with your kids or grandkids, Toad Cottages & Shooting Stars looks like a good place to start.
I'll let you know how it goes!

A Dish of Treasures

2010-10-21T09:26:00.002-05:00

We keep a dish of treasures on the sideboard in the dining room.
There's a buckeye from the timber on the farm where my husband grew up. There are acorns from the big oak down the street from our house.
And there's a flat, grey rock from the creek by our house, courtesy of the four year old who went exploring there with his dad this week.
The creek is dry right now, but it's still exciting, especially if you're four years old. There are all kinds of treasures, including an expired possum hidden away behind a rock; the possum won't make it into the dish of treasures, of course, but it was interesting nonetheless.
The curiosity of a child can complicate the lives of everyone around him, but it is also enriching. It makes us look again at the things that we've grown accustomed to; it makes us pay attention to what is going on all around us.
The four year old has gone home today, but I'll be watching what is going on in the creekbed more carefully, and I'll spend a little time appreciating the flat, grey rock in my dish of treasures.

Tell Me a Story . . .

2010-10-18T16:47:00.000-05:00

One gift we can give our children and grandchildren is a good story.
Whether it's a fairy tale or a family story, learning how to tell a story is a skill any grandparent can learn and use to encourage, affirm, and entertain.
Check out this column, Once Upon a Time, from Hearts at Home, for tips about telling stories.

ArtsInk -- Fun For All

2010-10-12T13:14:00.003-05:00

I had a chance to attend the grand opening of The Children's Discovery Museum's innovative new exhibit, ARTSINK!, and was it ever fun!
This exhibit focuses on the arts, particularly music (and music's relationship to math), puppets and performance, and storytelling. The design is fresh, the activities intriguing, and the experience delightful for everyone who visits.
If you get a chance, be sure to take a small person and visit ARTSINK!

Learning Tips from Grandma's House

2010-10-09T14:38:00.001-05:00

A new school year is well underway, and our grandchildren are busy with school assignments, projects, and activities. It's good to remember, though, that children are always learning, and that as grandparents, we are some of the people they are learning from.
This article, Grandma's House: Learning Tips, from the SpringfieldMoms website talks about some of the ways grandparents make good teachers for children of all ages.

Worth Saying Again . . .

2010-10-04T17:13:00.003-05:00

Some things are worth saying more than once. Reminding ourselves about why moms matter is worth repeating, and sharing with the moms in our lives. Please check out this post on the Hearts at Home website, Why Moms Matter, and let me know what you think!
And then, think about some ways you can remind the moms you know of all the ways they matter.

Job Description for Moms: Intense

2009-07-07T10:08:00.000-05:00

It's easy to forget the intensity of the day-to-day job of motherhood.
For a quick reminder, check out this job description for moms from a column I wrote several years ago for Hearts at Home.

Investing in Relationships

2009-06-02T07:59:00.001-05:00

One of the things we get to do as grandparents is offer a respite to our children as they parent.
Inviting our grandkids over for an evening or a week-end allows their parents to go out for dinner or to get away for an overnight mini-vacation, and it allows us to connect with our grandkids in fun ways.
We had an opportunity to do this recently. A long week-end with four of our granddaughters included a trip to our local Children's Museum as well as a trip to our local zoo where we saw the bears and tigers get dinner, walked through the tropical rain forest house with birds swooping overhead, and watched a river otter glide gracefully through his pond.
We also made sure there was time to relax. Although our usual week-end chores still had to be done (and the girls got to help with those!) we had time to watch a movie together, play in the yard, color, blow bubbles, and just hang out. There was a lot of eating (especially ice cream -- ice cream with strawberries, root beer floats . . . ) and a lot of just talking.
Our kids had a good time getting away, and we had a good time connecting with them.
If you're having grandkids over this summer, whether it's just for an evening or longer, here are some things you might want to think about:
* Food -- have plenty of it, and make at least some of it fun. Ice cream usually works, but so does popcorn and orange juice, or cupcakes with lots of fun frosting. Be sure you have any special foods you need for kids with allergies; one of our granddaughters is lactose intolerant so we make sure we have milk she can drink.
* A good balance between being busy and being together. Cooking together is a good way to spend time with grandkids, and conversation seems to happen naturally in the kitchen.
* Have some fun things to do at the house. For younger kids this might be as simple as a bottle of bubbles and a good supply of coloring books and craft supplies; for older kids it might be a classic movie with popcorn, or a chore like painting the porch that they get to do with you. Or get out some family photographs and tell family stories.
* Plan something fun you can do as a treat. We live in a place where there are lots of options: museums, parks, zoos, and friends to visit. What's special about where you live that you can share with your grandkids?
Inviting your grandkids to spend time with you is an investment in your relationship, with delightful dividends.

Making a Family

2009-04-21T11:19:00.001-05:00

I like John Rosemond, and this morning I had a chance to hear Dr. James Dobson interview him on Focus on the Family.
Young parents have a daunting task these days. They work hard, they try hard, but culturally they get little help in raising responsible, healthy children. Many times they are nowhere near extended family, and even if they are, we grandparents keep pretty busy ourselves. Too many times we aren't as available as our kids might hope.
Making a family takes time and commitment, and it requires an understanding of what children really need. Dr. Rosemond offers insight into what it takes, and encouragement for everyone who works at making a family.
I encourage you to click on the link and listen to what Dr. Rosemond has to say.

Once Upon A Time . . .

2009-03-24T15:24:00.004-05:00

One of the abiding pleasures of family life is sharing stories.
Whether it's a traditional fairy tale or a true story from the family archives, children are enchanted by stories, and stories offer adults a way to share insights, lessons, and faith in a kid-friendly way. Even better, sharing a good story is fun for everyone.
Once upon a time is one way to start -- you can read it here in the article Once Upon A Time I wrote on the Hearts at Home website.

************

One of the best stories we can share is the Easter story. During this Lenten season, we can get ready to share it with our children. Here, in another article I've written on the Hearts at Home website, Teach Them Diligently, you can get some ideas for preparing to share the story of Easter with the children in your life.

One More Way to Share an Experience

2009-03-17T13:33:00.000-05:00

This is a great time of year to encourage grandkids to enjoy the natural world.
Nature guides are one way to do this. Check at your local bookstore for the laminated, EZ-fold type of nature guide that fits into a pocket easily, and choose one that a grandchild might use to identify trees, birds, or flowers.
Or visit your local bird-supply store for a CD of birdsong that helps listeners identify which bird sings what.
Purchase one for yourself and one for your grandchild, then share the adventure.
If you live at a distance, send your grandchild one guide, keep one for yourself, then write an e-mail note or send a letter describing the trees you've identified, or the flowers you've found with your copy of the guide. Ask your grandchild to let you know what she's found, and how she uses her copy of the guide.
It's just one more way to share an experience and stay in touch, all at the same time.

A Gracious Gift

2009-03-17T11:50:00.000-05:00

Wisdom is always available, but sometimes seems to be in short supply.
Maybe that's because we don't always value it very much.
I think that has to do with our goals, with what we want out of our lives.
If what we want is a stable and happy family, wisdom is indispensable. We'll learn to value its role in helping us create stability, closeness, warmth -- all the things we need to keep a family in good shape.
Wisdom is ultimately creative. When we apply wisdom to our lives, we create space, time, and energy; we redirect resources to what is good, pure, and lovely; we affirm what is of God. The result is freedom to become what God created us to be.
The apostle James says all we have to do is ask for wisdom, and God, who is generous, will supply it generously.
What a gracious gift!

Preparing for Parenthood -- and Other Things . . .

2009-03-11T08:00:00.001-05:00

It's fun to watch our kids prepare for parenthood.
Some of them focus on reading all the books they can find about becoming a mom or a dad.
Some of them spend a lot of time talking to people who've been parents for awhile, asking questions and listening to stories.
And some of them just try to wrap their minds and hearts around what's happening, and wait to see what it's like.
In each case, they prepare in ways as individual as they are, keeping in mind the dreams, hopes, and goals they have for parenting their children.
No matter what we do, preparation is important, and it helps if we can keep what we are preparing for in mind. You can read more about preparation in my post on Inspired Bliss.
What are you preparing for?

Welcome, Welcome to the World . . .

2009-03-09T20:49:00.000-05:00

What a month! We celebrated the arrival of grandchild #11 a few weeks before we expected to, but with great joy. After a few difficult days, he's healthy and home.
Watching a new baby meet the world is a privilege, and watching your own child learning the challenges and pleasures of becoming a parent is one of life's sweetest treasures.

A Five-Year Journal

2009-02-02T11:55:00.000-06:00

I was talking with a group of younger friends last week, and one of them shared about a “Five Year Journal” she'd begun keeping lately.
It had been a gift she'd set aside and then found. Each date of the year had its own page, and each page had five sections, one for each of five years, each with only a few lines. The idea is that it's fairly easy to write a few sentences on those few lines each day, and so have a record of what's happening in your family.
So far, she's delighted with the results, remarking how even a few sentences can bring a whole event or day back into remembrance.
I've been keeping a similar journal the past few years, mostly with weather notes, but there are family notes sprinkled in. I've been keeping it long enough to know what my friend is talking about -- it's delightful to read back through this journal.
What if we kept a grandma's journal for our grandkids, each day recording some interaction with them, or some memory we'd like to share associated with the day? Even a few sentences each day would give them some kind of record of who we are and how we think about the world, what we've seen of the world.
You don't have to have a fancy book to do this; you could even do it online. The important thing is to begin!

Some Forwards are Fun

2009-01-29T20:36:00.000-06:00

From my friend Rose:

Retarded Grandparents

RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.One child wrote the following:

"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick housebut Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida .

Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because
they don't know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.

At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts.

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren."
..... PRICELESS

A Little Perspective

2009-01-28T21:20:00.000-06:00

One thing grandparents can be really good at is perspective.
At a time when it seems as if the financial world is melting down, as if jobs are disappearing right before our eyes, as if everything we've worked so hard for is at risk, it's good to have someone around with a little perspective.
Grandparents can represent continuity, stability, and yes, perspective when things seem to be turned upside down, because chances are we've seen something like it before, and lived to tell the stories. That can be reassuring to someone going through financial instability for the first time.
And if we ourselves are feeling a bit scared, it's good to remember what Eugene Peterson has observed in his book Tell It Slant: “It doesn't take us long to realize that we are set down in a world prodigious in wealth. The Creator is incredibly generous. We are given what we need but also much, much more.”
Our job is to keep our own eyes on the Creator, and to remind our children and grandchildren that one way or another, God is our provider, and He is faithful.

Two Reasons to Use the Good Dishes . . .

2009-01-26T20:36:00.004-06:00

Sometimes, just for fun, we use the good dishes.
You can read about our fancy ways on the Inspired Bliss website in Good Dishes and Other Graces, where I write about how we changed from who-needs-good-china people to a family using our good dishes even on ordinary days.
There are at least two good reasons for getting out the good stuff, especially when all the family is together:
* Making the effort is a way of infusing each day with beauty and grace.
* Your family will wonder what you're up to!
Even if it's just you and your husband (or you by your own self!) use those pretty dishes and that good silver -- you'll enjoy them much more on your table than you will if they're just stacked up in the cabinet.
And if you linger over dinner to tell family stories, so much the better!

Holiday Complements

2009-01-14T17:37:00.002-06:00

Do you have any left-over candy canes from your Christmas celebrations?
Valentine's Day is coming, one month from today.
Here's a fun way to create a sweet treat with those candy canes as you get ready to celebrate Valentine's Day: just use a little glue to join two (wrapped) candy canes in a heart shape, or use a little stiff, sugary frosting to “glue” unwrapped candy canes. Let them dry to hold the shape, then share them with someone you love who has a sweet tooth.

Three Ways to Welcome . . .

2009-01-12T21:56:00.000-06:00

Kathleen Norris writes about the importance of welcoming children into the family of faith.
How can we do that?
Here are three suggestions:
* Open your heart to the children around you. Let them see your pleasure in their company. Show your interest in what they are thinking and doing. Share your life with them by letting them join in your activities. Make room for them in your everyday life.
* Let them catch you doing good, and doing well. When you are helping someone else in Christ's name, invite the children around you to help. Find some way for them to contribute in a meaningful way. Include them, and let them see the care you take to do things well, to help with excellence.
* Make sure they know you are paying attention to how they are doing. Be sensitive to their wants and needs. Listen to their stories. Pray for their projects and efforts to do what is right and good.
Be present in the moment when you are with them.
Welcoming children into the family of faith is a natural extension of Jesus's taking the little children around Himself onto His lap.

Wise Investment

2009-01-07T19:05:00.003-06:00

Encouragement is a kind of investment in your family, whether you're encouraging your own child or your grandchildren. The Art of Encouragement on the Hearts at Home website talks about how you can encourage family members, and why it's so important.

Grandparents as Investors

2009-01-07T18:52:00.001-06:00

A grandparent is an investor.
We invest in the lives of our children and grandchildren, hoping for a return we may not even live to see, although there are more immediate rewards.
Like any good investor, we need to study what we're investing in.
What are the strengths? Where are the weaknesses? How is management doing? How can we maximize the effect of our investment?
The difference, of course, is that we're investing something more than mere money. We're investing time, thought, and other kinds of resources in the lives of these ones we love. Bottom line -- we're really investing our own selves.
How are your investments looking?

One Fun Way to Stay in Touch

2009-01-06T09:52:00.001-06:00

Here's a fun way to lift your family's spirits in January: send them your favorite comic strip.
You can actually cut it out and mail it to a child or grandchild, or send them a comic (or a link to a comic strip you've enjoyed) via e-mail. (You can google the specific comic you're looking for, or just google “comics” and see what you can find. Or check out a site like King Features.)
If someone in your family is interested in politics, share an editorial cartoon.
It's a fun way to stay in touch with the people you love.

Cartoons and a Merry Heart

2009-01-02T21:15:00.000-06:00

When the morning newspaper comes, I like to read the comics first.
Why is it so hard to admit that?
On Sundays, it's Prince Valiant, Crankshaft, and Blondie. For Better or Worse, I want to know what is happening to Beetle Bailey and the Wizard of Id. Zits, Baby Blues, Cathy, Charlie Brown. I invite them all into my morning, first thing, along with Doonsbury and Frank and Ernest.
They all get first billing, over the front page, over Home and Gardens, over the book section and the editorials -- because they make me laugh, and sigh, and smile, and because those things help get the day started right.
Sometimes I clip a particularly great cartoon and tape it to the cabinet or closet door, where it keeps on making me smile. Or I fix it to the refrigerator door with a magnet, or put it in an album I pull out sometimes when I'm feeling discouraged. Cartoons make me laugh, especially the ones I've clipped myself.
Why do we take ourselves so seriously sometimes? “A merry heart doeth good, like medicine,” says the Proverb, and Jesus was known to slyly insinuate humor into some of his comments, even if the Pharisees didn't get it.
Come to think of it, maybe that's where Pharisee-ism begins -- with an inability to smile, to take ourselves and our lives lightly.
Go ahead -- clip a cartoon and start your own gallery. Smile a little. Laugh a lot.
Keep your heart merry, for Christ's sake.

Start the Year with a Laugh . . .

2009-01-01T19:59:00.001-06:00

There's nothing like a good laugh to start out the new year:

When I stopped the school bus to pick up Shannon for kindergarten, I noticed an older woman waving at the window as she came down the sidewalk. "Is that your grandma?" I asked.
"Yes," Shannon said. "She's come to visit for Christmas."
"That's wonderful," I said. "Where does she live?"
"At the airport," Shannon replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."

Three Resolutions for 2009

2008-12-31T10:33:00.000-06:00

The last day of 2008 -- are you making New Year's resolutions?
Here are three resolutions you might want to consider:
* Resolve to stay in touch. Use snail mail for letters and post-cards, e-mail, Skype phone calls, a family blog -- just promise yourself you'll contact your children and grandchildren regularly to show your interest in them and express your love for them.
* Resolve to give them the gift of your own self. Share your family stories with them. Copy and pass on those family photographs tucked away in an album or drawer. Get those old family films transferred to a DVD and give a copy to your family. Be sure to add an explanation of what the stories and photographs are about and why they matter to you.
* Resolve to grow in understanding of how your children and grandchildren perceive the world. Listen as much as you talk. Learn more about how things are changing. Stay in touch with what's happening, and ask them about it.
Resolve to keep growing!

Making a List, Checking it Twice . . .

2008-12-05T19:28:00.000-06:00

What's on your Christmas list this year? Have you thought yet about what you really want?
Making a List on the Hearts at Home website has some suggestions for things you might want to consider!

Crazy at Christmas?

2008-12-03T08:48:00.003-06:00

Has Christmas frenzy hit your family?
As a grandma, I remember all too well what it was like to have a houseful of excited children during the Christmas season -- they would get more and more wound up as my husband and I would get more and more tired.
Now I watch as those very children parent their own children, and wrestle with the same excitement and fatigue.
In Taming the Christmas Crazies on the Hearts at Home website, I've offered practical ideas for making the Christmas season a little more sane for everyone. Hope you'll check it out and find some new ways to enjoy the celebration!

Thank You!

2008-11-29T07:51:00.001-06:00

Receiving a thank you note is always a pleasure, but sometimes you have to write them to get them!
Part of that equation is the power of setting a good example. When we write thank you notes regularly to our children and grandchildren, even for small things, we set a powerful example of everyday gratitude. It's important to say “thank you” in person, but a written note is tangible evidence of that gratitude. It allows us to express our thanks in a way that's usually more memorable, especially if we apply a little creativity to the way we write a thank-you note.
We can include a photograph or drawing, write a silly poem of thanks, or share a story of how much we appreciate the gift or kindness. A good thank you note is a model for our children and grandchildren to follow as they write their own thank you notes.
Which brings us to the second part of that thank-you note equation.
As a kid, I was a slacker about thank you notes. A cranky great aunt-by-marriage noticed this lack of etiquette on my part and complained loudly to my grandparents and parents. I felt terribly embarrassed until it occurred to me that she never ever wrote thank you notes herself for the gifts or kindnesses others extended to her. She only demanded thank you notes from others.
I never worried about thanking her in writing again.
This holiday season we'll have lots of opportunities to thank others for what they've given us, or what they've done for us. I want to remember to look for ways to say -- and write -- thank you in ways that are fun and creative. I want to let the people I love know I appreciate them and the effort they make.
I want to make them smile.

Three Opportunities

2008-11-25T12:00:00.000-06:00

Are you alert for opportunity?
As grandparents we are influencers. We have the opportunity to influence our own children as they parent, and we have the opportunity to influence our grandchildren as they grow up. But it's easy to miss those opportunities if we aren't looking for them.
Here are three ways to maximize the opportunities that come our way:
* Listen to what's happening in the lives of your loved ones. What are they interested in or concerned about? There may not be anything tangible you can do, but you can always let them know you care about what they care about, and you can always pray for them.
* Invite them to your house, not in a “command performance” way or a “won't you come help me” way, but in a “I'd like to cook dinner for you” or “I just baked cookies, can you come for tea?” kind of way -- that is, not always for chores or obligation but sometimes just for fun!
* Invest in the relationship. Make time to let your loved ones know you love them by what you do, as well as by what you say.

Beans and a Grateful Heart

2008-11-23T14:44:00.001-06:00

Are you ready for Thanksgiving?
I'm not -- too much cleaning left to do, and once again I've overestimated either how quickly I clean or how much dust there is left over from the last time I dusted (which might have been longer than I thought . . . )
I've been thinking about how cleaning and shopping for turkey aren't all I need to do to get ready. I want to get my heart ready for Thanksgiving, too -- I want it to be filled with gratitude to God, because His blessings are abundant and because of His lovingkindness toward me and those I love.
So -- if you'd like to know more about Beans for Thanksgiving, and what they have to do with a grateful heart, please stop by the Hearts at Home website!

Looking Back, Looking Forward, Singing It All

2008-11-22T20:58:00.006-06:00

What an amazing time we live in! It's not as if that's anything you've not noticed, I'm sure, but sometimes when I think about my own grandparents, born in the very earliest 1900s, and my grandchildren, born in the last years of the 1900s and the earliest years of the 2000s -- I'm amazed at the changes, the advances, the differences in what my grandparents experienced as children and what my grandchildren experience.
But Scripture tells us that from age to age, God does not change. And because of that, as the hymn says, I Stand Amazed.

As grandparents, we have a unique opportunity to share the best of what's gone before with our grandchildren, including the hymnody of our faith. That doesn't mean we can't sing those hymns in a way that fits the specific time we live in. Bart Millard has done that with two hymn collections, Hymned No. 1 and Hymned Again. If you like blues, country, soul, Southern rock -- you'll find a little bit of all those styles in these collections.
As hymns do, these look back, but they also look forward to the time when Jesus comes again: What a Day That Will Be!

A Card, A Note, A Gift from Grandma

2008-11-19T18:39:00.002-06:00

I have a stack of Thanksgiving cards sitting on the kitchen counter, waiting for me to sit down and get them ready to mail.
I used to think Thanksgiving cards were a ploy by the card companies to get us to spend money, but one day I realized that, really, they are an opportunity to tell my kids and grandkids how thankful I am to have them in my life.
We always make a point of telling them that when they come to share Thanksgiving dinner with us, but sometimes not all of them can be here. And a card is something a child can tuck under a pillow or into a box of keepsakes; it's there to remind him that he's loved when we're not there. Sometimes all of us experience a time of loneliness, a time when silence seems to overcome our sense of belonging somewhere.
A card with a hand-written note that says “I love you and thank God for you” is a gift that speaks into the silence.
So, I'll make myself a cup of tea, and get those cards signed and ready to mail, and while I do that, I'll be thinking about each one of those precious people, thanking God for them.

Two Tips for Holiday Planning

2008-11-16T16:45:00.000-06:00

We spent a little time yesterday with two of the grandkids. A museum trip and dinner out proved both fun and interesting -- what a privilege it is to watch a child come alive to history!
On our way home we drove through snow flurries. It reminded me that the holiday season is almost here, and it's time to get ready. You'll find what I think about that in my blog post Getting Ready for Company on Inspired Bliss. Please stop by!
And if you'd like to include the kids in your preparation, check out my column Thanksgiving Fun on the Hearts at Home website!

Three Surprises

2008-11-12T22:19:00.000-06:00

Some weeks are full of delightful surprises.
Last week I received a letter from one of my granddaughters. It was a project she'd done in pre-school, a finger-paint print of her hands. Pink, her favorite color, with a note telling me I was a great grandma. I think I'll frame it.
Not only that, but phone calls. Several of our kids called just to talk. They weren't phone calls I was expecting, which made them even more of a treat. It's easy to underestimate how much a phone call can mean.
And finally a Skype call from a 2 year old cowboy, sporting the new hat his very smart mom picked up at the Halloween clearance sales. He was in fine form, ready to herd cows and whatever else it is 2 year old cowboys do.
It makes me wonder what kind of delightful surprises I can plan for someone else.

Coffee and Conversation with our Father . . .

2008-11-05T08:56:00.003-06:00

There's something about sharing conversation and a cup of coffee with a good friend.
In my case, and perhaps in yours as well, that conversation and cup of coffee might often involve prayer -- I get the coffee (and thank God for it!) and share the conversation with Him.
It's important for us as grandparents to pray for our kids and grandkids, and I wrote about that this week for Inspired Bliss in "A Gift Worth Giving."
I invite you to pour yourself a cup of coffee and check it out!

Standards of Cleanliness and Love

2008-10-25T21:02:00.000-05:00

It's so easy to judge one another!
As a younger wife and mom I was a messy housekeeper. Despite my parents' best efforts, when I first married, I had not yet learned or mastered the organizational skills needed to keep house.
My mother-in-law was organized and orderly. I suspect it frustrated her a great deal to see the way I kept -- or didn't -- house.
From time to time she offered in different ways to help me learn what she knew, but I was too embarrassed to accept her help.
Over time -- through trial and mostly, error -- I learned how to do things more efficiently; to keep house more effectively, because I love my family very much and wanted to create a comfortable home. I recognized that orderliness and cleanliness were part of the comfort I wanted to provide for them.
Although I've never lived up to the example of my mother-in-law, I do OK now, most of the time.
What was interesting, though, was that as time went by my mother-in-law grew to value other things I was good at. She complimented my patience with her grandchildren, and told me how much she appreciated their creativity and good manners.
I think of her good sense and housekeeping skills, and I miss her.

The Best Stories . . .

2008-10-22T13:27:00.001-05:00

I love stories.
I love reading them. I love telling them. I especially love hearing them, and some of my favorites are old family stories. I don't get tired of hearing them, because they are like a window into the past, revealing how we got to be the way we are.
In Learning to Drive and Other Stories on the Inspired Bliss channel of Blissfully Domestic, I write about the importance of stories. Come check it out!

The Best News . . .

2008-10-15T19:40:00.000-05:00

How did you announce to your parents that you were going to become a parent yourself?
I remember telling my husband's mother when we found out we were going to have our first child. She'd stopped by our apartment for a moment, and asked us something -- I don't remember now just what -- and we just casually mentioned there was a baby on the way.
What a missed opportunity -- we could have made that announcement with so much more of a sense of joy and fun!
How did you find out you were going to be a grandparent?
I talk about some of the ways our kids have shared their good news on the Inspired Bliss channel of Blissfully Domestic, in Four Ways to Share New Baby Joy.
No matter how we hear, a baby is always good news!

Old Tricks, New Kids

2008-10-08T13:42:00.001-05:00

Sometimes old tricks work on new kids.
We were waiting for the school bus to come to pick up the 7-year old. He and the 4-year old were full of energy, which usually leads to things like skipping rocks into the neighbor's yard or other dangerous-but-fun activities.
“Let's play Mother May I,” I said.
“Huh?” they both said.
“You know -- Mother May I,” I said.
No. They didn't know.
So I showed them how to play, possibly tilting the advantage of the game ever so slightly to Mother, or in this case, Grandma.
Their attention fully captured, we played Mother May I til the bus came, then the 4-year old wanted to play it on the driveway so she could master things like the scissor-hop, and remembering to ask “Mother May I?”
By the time the 7-year old returned home, she was ready to compete, and so was he.
Who knew such a simple diversion would turn into tournament-quality competition?

In Training, part 2

2008-10-06T20:34:00.001-05:00

The 4-year old has a bedtime routine: brushing hair. She likes to brush her mommy's short hair, then have her mommy brush her wildly curly hair. So when she said “Grandma, can I brush your hair?” I knew it was just part of getting her ready for bed.
“I'd like that,” I said, settling down on the floor in front of the brush wielding girl.
Gently she brushed. This is going well, I thought. Suddenly she delicately pulled one little hunk of hair out, just like a beautician would do, and said, “Hmmmmm.”
“What are you doing now, sweetheart?” I asked, turning my head.
“I”m just going to cut this off,” she said with a grin, holding up her rounded edge paper scissors.
I wonder if she thought I was going to leave a tip.

Comic In Training

2008-10-05T21:36:00.001-05:00

Spending time with a 7-year old is like spending time with a comic in training.
Case in point: on our way home from soccer practice, the 7-year old in the back seat asks, “Grandma, is our refrigerator running?”
Suddenly concerned that I might have missed something important, I asked, “Why? Wasn't it OK when we left home?”
“Oh, it's fine, Grandma. I just thought if it was running you'd better try to catch it.”

Nothing Says Loving . . .

2008-10-04T16:11:00.003-05:00

It's cookie season. Nothing says “welcome home” like the fragrance of cookies baking in the oven.
This is a good time to bake cookies, to send cookies in the mail, to share a recipe with a teen-aged grandchild so she can bake cookies herself.

One of our family favorites is Pumpkin Harvest Cookies.

Here's the recipe:

Pumpkin Harvest Cookies

Combine 1/2 cup softened butter with
1 cup packed brown sugar and
3/4 cup granulated sugar.

Cream thoroughly.
To this mixture, add: 1 cup pumpkin
1 egg
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
Beat together til light and fluffy.
Add 1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
Mix thoroughly.
Stir in 3/4 cup raisins
3/4 cup chopped pecans or black walnuts
3/4 cup uncooked (quick cooking) oats.
Drop teaspoonfuls onto a lightly greased cookie sheet;
bake at 375 degrees for 12 - 15 minutes. When cool, frost with Spicy Frosting.

Spicy Frosting

Combine 1 cup powdered sugar
3 Tablespoons softened butter
1 Tablespoon hot coffee
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Beat together til fluffy. Spread on Pumpkin Harvest Cookies.

Enjoy.

Leaf Letters

2008-10-03T07:00:00.002-05:00

If you live where the leaves are turning, gather up a few of the prettiest and send them to your grandchild. There's something fun about getting a letter with red, orange, and golden leaves tucked inside.
And if you're ambitious, press the leaves between two pieces of waxed paper. Seal them with an iron on low heat, trim them with pinking shears, and send them. Tidier, fun, and a good way to remind your grandkids you're thinking of them!

Hat Tricks

2008-10-02T06:16:00.006-05:00

There's something about hats.
Yesterday one of the two-year olds was here for the morning. She almost always plays contentedly if I'm in the room with her, and yesterday was no exception: she played with the dollhouse while I worked at my computer.
After awhile, she came over and stood by my chair. When I turned to look at her, she had on her “hat” -- an arm protector from the blue chair. She was quite delighted with her find, and modeled it for me with quite a sense of style.
I put down my work and said, “Would you like to try on some more hats?”

Her smile was my answer, so we went into my bedroom and got out some hats. First she tried on the black one.

Then the big brown one. It was so big she could hardly see!

Finally the fancy blue one -- but the arm protector is still in the running!

What's a girl to do with so many choices?

One More Way to Keep Your Grandkids Safe

2008-10-01T13:14:00.000-05:00

Grandmas of a certain age will remember juggling infants and toddlers on their seats in the front seat of a car, or trying to convince pre-school passengers in the back seat to “SIT DOWN.”
We weren't required to buckle our kids into car seats. Even if we had been, the molded plastic car seats that were available were little protection in any emergency.
Those kids, now grown up with kids of their own, understand the importance of a car-safety seat. They're familiar with the intricacies of their use. And as grandmas who sometimes drive our grandkids, we need to be, too.
This morning NBC's Today Show featured a report on booster seats, with a warning by the Virginia-based Insurance Institute for Highway Safety and the University of Michigan Transportation Research Institute that some booster seats currently on the market are unsafe.
One part of the report focused on the correct way to use booster seats. I found this information helpful for the times I'm driving a grandchild who is using a booster seat. During the interview, Anne McCartt, of the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, explained and demonstrated how to be sure the lap belt is correctly positioned (across the upper thigh) for safety, and how to check the shoulder belt to be sure it is across the child's mid-shoulder.
Next time I'm responsible for buckling one of the grandkids into a booster seat, I'll know a bit more about what I'm doing.

The One-Note Concert

2008-09-30T21:47:00.002-05:00

One of the nicest things a grandparent can do is pay attention.
Our own children, as well as our grandchildren, benefit from knowing that we notice what's going on in their lives, that we care about what they are doing.
The 10-year old just started playing the saxophone, and at dinner the other evening asked if grandpa would like to hear her play.
Because he is a well-trained grandpa, he said, “Of course.” And smiled.
The saxophone was retrieved, the new instrumentalist sat down and played.
One note. A “B.”
“How about an “E?” asked grandpa.
“Nope,” said the 10-year old. “I only know the “B.”
And with that, the concert was complete.

One Way to Make the Holidays Happier

2008-09-29T19:30:00.000-05:00

A week-end trip to the mall reinforced the reality of changing seasons: Christmas trees, ornaments, and decorations compete with Halloween masks for shelf space.
If you're adjusting to new in-laws, and just thinking of the holiday season is stressful, make time to reflect on how you'd like things to go.
After I'd been a mother-in-law for awhile, I was thinking about some of those issues,and wrote “In-Law Manners” for the Hearts at Home Pantagraph column. I'd come to realize that grandma was right: good manners can get you through almost any situation.
It's just one more way to get ready for the holidays!

3 Reasons to Reach Out and Connect . . .

2008-09-28T21:06:00.000-05:00

Sunday evening is for phone calls.
We don't call all our kids on Sunday evenings, but we do try to call the kids we aren't able to connect with during the week.
We think it's important to stay connected for at least three reasons:
* Families are defined in part by their connection with one another.
* It's fun to talk and catch up, hear about their week, tell them about ours.
* Staying connected is one way to make ourselves available for help, friendship, and support.
Sunday evening phone calls are one of the everyday ways we try to stay connected.
The only thing better is when our kids call us!
Our latest phone adventure has been with Skype. At our kids urging we bought a little camera to use with our computer -- a lot of new computers come with an integrated camera -- and now we can talk with our kids and see them, see how the grandkids are growing and see for ourselves how our kids are doing.
It's been so much fun, I'm tempted to make all my calls with it!

Getting Inspired!

2008-09-27T20:12:00.001-05:00

We spent some time this afternoon sitting in the swing that hangs from our big sycamore tree, and all around us leaves drifted down like a gentle rain. The back-yard squirrels scurry to find and bury nuts while trying to avoid the young goshawk learning to hunt from the higher branches of the old hackberry.
The 7-year old was here this week, and found the rake. “You're going to need this pretty soon, Grandma,” he said, turning it over in his hands, inspecting it to make sure it's ready to go, giving a few practice rakes just to be sure.
Even though summer is turning into fall, there are new beginnings all around us, as there always are.
One of those new beginnings for me is a new weekly column on the Blissfully Domestic website, on the Inspired Bliss channel. You can find my first Grandma on Board column here, and a new column again each Thursday. You can also use the Inspired Bliss button on the side column to find the website and explore the other excellent posts on Inspired Bliss.
I'm excited for this new opportunity, and even more excited by the other excellent, inspiring writers and artists on this site.
Hope to see you there!

ReRun: Rent A Grandma . . . ?

2008-09-24T19:51:00.002-05:00

I've never done this before. Really. But this idea intrigues me, and evidently a lot of people; this post gets a lot of hits. So here, from last October, is "Rent a Grandma . . . "

I wonder why there isn't a “Rent A Grandma” franchise somewhere.

Think of it – a grandma you could rent, who would come in bearing cookies and smiles to give you a little relief on a stressful day – no advice (unless you asked specifically), no complaints, no criticisms.

She'd wear a sweater, carry a pocketbook, and ask if you wanted to take a nap for a few minutes while she washes up a bit.

She'd love your kids, spoil your husband, and go home to grandpa at the end of the day, leaving your house clean, cookies on the counter, and you, smiling.

I think there might be a possibility, here . . .

Privilege . . . And Opportunity

2008-09-17T14:01:00.000-05:00

I had the privilege of going with a daughter-in-law to a sonogram this week when her husband (my son) wasn't able to be with her.
We watched together, thrilled, as the sonogram began and the tiny little person within her seemed to wave at us. The sonographer looked, measured, and snapped photographs for us to take home.
I sat in awe.

********

Before we went back for the sonography, we waited a bit in the doctor's waiting room. This particular office offers free magazines, and I found one specifically for grandparents, published by Fisher-Price -- the toy people.
When I got home I checked out the Fisher-Price website, and was impressed with what they offer for grandparents. There are activity guides, developmental charts, and e-cards you can send or download and print off for your grandchildren, among other things.
There is a lot there for parents, too, and of course, you can find information about Fisher-Price toys.
I encourage you to check it out!

Three Things About Puzzles and Repetition . . . Repetition . . . Repetition . . .

2008-09-17T12:56:00.001-05:00

One of the 2-year olds was here this morning, so we got out one of her favorite toys -- the stack of puzzles.
Puzzles are more fun when there's more than one person playing.
“Grandma,” she lisps, “come play with the puzzles with me.”
Who can resist such an invitation?
So down on the floor I went, watching, occasionally helping. Here's what I observed:
* Working on puzzles is a lesson in spatial relationships for the 2-year old and for me. If I'd worked more puzzles, I might have done better in math!
* One thing that helps in working a puzzle is to look at the frame of the puzzle, and match the pieces to what is on the frame. to wit: if Ernie's hair is visible along the edge of the frame, the 2-year old found it helpful to find the piece with Ernie's head and hair, then match the hair to Ernie's hair on the frame of the puzzle. We also matched what was on one piece of the puzzle to what belonged on the next piece: Bert's arm on this piece would link up to Bert's arm on the next piece. Once she figured this out, she was able to put the puzzle together much more quickly, with much less frustration.
* If doing a puzzle once is fun, doing it 18 times must be better. And each time, proficiency increases. Repetition might reinforce memorization, but it also allows experimenting to see if the “right” piece will work upside down, or if it might fit in better backwards -- more lessons in spatial relationships.
I'm sure there are life lessons here, but the most immediate, practical lesson is this: playing with your grandchild and a stack of puzzles is fun!

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town . . . Eventually, and Mrs. Claus, Too

2008-09-12T21:11:00.001-05:00

Friday night dates used to mean at least dinner out, maybe a movie or a drive in the country.
Now Friday night dates mean dinner with whichever members of the extended family can get together, at one house or another.
Tonight it was the home of the Princess and the Ballerina, one of whom was very very tired and just a little pouty.
The pizza was tasty, the homemade chocolate chip cookies (made this afternoon with the Ballerina's help) delicious, and the company was entertaining. Lively conversation made dinner go by quickly,and included a discussion about Santa Claus. (It is, after all, September.)
“I'm really Santa Claus,” confided the grandpa in the group.
“No, you're not,” said the Ballerina.
“Oh yes I am,” said the grandpa with a twinkle in his eye.
After that brief exchange, the conversation shifted; but then as we left, the Ballerina took me aside and said confidentially, “Grandma, I know Grandpa isn't Santa Claus, because then there would have to be a Mrs. Claus with him.”
I nodded thoughtfully, and said, “And I don't look anything like Mrs. Claus, do I?”
The Ballerina nodded quite seriously and said, “No, Grandma, you don't. You just look like your own self.”

Reasons to Rest

2008-09-08T08:56:00.000-05:00

One of the tools in our grandparenting bag is modeling.
This is a tool parents use, too, but with age we gain impact when we model good behavior.
Oh, sure, our kids might sigh, even roll their eyes as they mutter something like “what's mom up to now?”
But our grandkids -- they're watching and listening more closely than we realize.
That's why it's important to be intentional about how we live.
If we keep going at a breakneck pace just because we can, we're teaching our kids and grandkids that it's a good way to live.
And maybe it's not.
What about rest?
I wrote about resting in yesterday's Hearts at Home column in the Bloomington Pantagraph. (It's my last column in that space, coincidentally.)
If you're feeling rushed, tired, over-extended, you might want to make time to read it. It could be all the excuse you need to relax.

Birthday Week

2008-09-05T21:03:00.000-05:00

We had a family birthday party this week. It's easy to forget how exciting a party is when you're turning 5 years old, and the party is just for you.
The days leading up to the big event were trying for the birthday girl's mom. All the excitement made good behavior a little harder for the birthday girl to come by. It's easy to forget how tantrums and drama can wear out a mom, too!
This time I didn't do a very good job of helping out. Caught up with my own responsibilities, I failed to see the little ways I might have eased my daughter's stress.
It's difficult these days, when all of us have so many things to do, so many legitimate demands on our time, to notice -- or have the energy to carry out -- the small kindnesses that might encourage or make a difference to the people around us. It's not an excuse or an accusation; just an observation.
The birthday party was a huge success, including the surprise blowing out of birthday candles by a 2 year old sibling, which meant the whole cake-and-candle part of the evening had to be re-enacted, with much laughter. The cake and ice cream were delicious and much appreciated, the gifts were greeted with joy, and the birthday girl -- and all the rest of us -- had a very good time, thank you very much.
But next time, I'll try to pay more attention so that the days leading up to the big party are fun for everyone, too.

Toddlers, Food, and Memories

2008-09-05T20:44:00.002-05:00

Grandmas are supposed to be all about food, but if it's been awhile since you've fed a toddler, may I offer a refresher course? I wrote about Toddler Nutrition in the Bloomington Pantagraph for Hearts at Home recently. You might find it interesting -- and it will probably bring back memories!

Keeping Up

2008-09-05T19:48:00.000-05:00

Being a grandma is no excuse for falling behind culturally.
I don't mean you have to be aware of every celebrity twitch. What I mean is it's not good to use your own advancing age to ignore what's happening in our culture. And in our culture, technology is a big deal.
Even if you don't use technology, it's a good idea to know something about it. Otherwise, sooner or later you'll find yourself speaking a different language from your grandchildren.
Traditionally grandparents hang on to technology that was cutting edge when they were younger, and shy away from what is newest. That isn't true of all grandparents, of course; some of us can't wait to show off how cool we are -- we Twitter, and we don't care who knows it!
Part of understanding and using technology is awareness of its risks and dangers. The NetSmartz website has easy-to-understand explanations of those risks and dangers, with special sections for parents and guardians, as well as for children of every age.
I encourage you to check it out, educate yourself, then share what you've learned with the grandkids you love.

Three Lessons from a Visit

2008-08-28T14:02:00.001-05:00

One of the 4-year olds spent the night this week. We had a good time checking out the spider webs in the back yard, watching two (two!) movies together (short ones -- the Focus on the Family McGee and Me series,) and carefully examining family photographs.
It's hard for a 4-year old to spend the night away from family. “I never did this before,” she told me. “Always before I had somebody else here with me.”
She was brave despite a little bit of homesickness (having Jasmine the golden lab to play with helped a lot,) and we did have fun together. After our backyard spider expedition we sat down in the swing on the big sycamore tree, only to discover that yet another spider was busy building a web from the swing to the nearest sycamore branch! (We politely encouraged that spider to build somewhere else.)
The raspberry chocolate chip ice cream was a disappointment (too much raspberry, not enough chocolate chip) so we substituted popcorn for our after dinner treat.
We visited a local used-book store as well as the local library. We brought home some books that we enjoyed, curled up together on the love seat in the living room. Now when I write her a letter and say I've just come from the bookstore or the library, she'll have an idea of where I'm talking about.
And looking at the family photographs gave her a glimpse into her mommy and daddy's lives before she was a part of them. “She's so pretty,” she said, gazing at a photograph of her mom a few years ago. I had to agree!
Our overnight together accomplished at least three good things: we got to know one another better. We had fun together. And next time, I'll be sure the ice cream is chocolate!

Making Introductions, Strengthening Connections

2008-08-21T19:19:00.000-05:00

Staying current with what's happening in the world of parenting is easier than ever for grandparents. There's a wealth of information about new products, new ideas, and new information about child development that even grandparents will benefit from available in books, magazines, online. We set a good example for both our grandchildren and our children when we keep learning new information and stay interested in what's happening.
In the September 2008 issue of one of the relatively new parenting magazines, Wonder Time, there's a great article, Lost in Translation by Sarah Trillin, about how to introduce your child to her grandparents, even those who are deceased. In a sidebar, Trillin offers sugggestions for “Keeping Memories Alive” that will touch your heart, inspire you, even make you think about your own grandparents.
As a grandparent, these suggestions may give you some ideas, too, for sharing your life with your grandchildren, help them know -- and remember -- you better.

Trading Lunches

2008-08-19T07:24:00.001-05:00

With the new school year beginning, many families are looking for new lunchboxes. They have a lot of choices.
One option is recyclable bags, thermoses, and wrappers. The Reusable Bags website offers all these, including stainless steel drink containers and sandwich wraps that take the place of plastic sandwich bags.
The products they offer are appealing, but as I looked through the website, I was concerned to learn that many of them are manufactured in China. I'm glad China has developed a thriving economy, but I'd like to have a choice. The website makes a point of reporting that while they'd like to buy American-made product, they can't do it in a cost-effective way.
The website also emphasizes that they check in on the factories where product is made to be sure they adhere to safety and personnel policies.
I'm not familiar enough with the intricacies of trade policy to comment much. I understand there are issues of life safety, product safety, labor practices, material costs, trade balances and fair trade practices that affect our ability to keep manufacturing plants open and running efficiently.
I just know I'd like to buy safe, well-made products made in the United States at a price I can afford. And surely there are answers to these concerns that will allow our grandchildren to find good jobs in this country when they grow up.

Framing Your Grandchildren

2008-08-16T10:50:00.001-05:00

Marge Kennedy's book 100 Things You Can Do To Keep Your Family Together has hundreds of ideas for family fun.
This is one of my favorites:
“One mom reports within earshot of her kindergartner: 'It's the most amazing thing. But every year, Santa somehow finds my daughter's best work, frames it, and leaves it under the tree for me. And every year, it's my favorite gift.'”
What a good way to spotlight work that might otherwise be tucked into the back of a drawer!
Framed artwork created by your child as a gift for a grandparent is a great way to share your child's progress.
Or a grandparent could “commission” a picture from a grandchild as a gift for a parent!
Either way, everyone wins, and the child feels as if she has contributed something of value to family celebrations.
Ms. Kennedy doesn't stop there, though -- she suggests other ideas like:
“* Photograph a terrific block tower before getting to the necessary task of dismantling it to reclaim the living room floor.
* Tape record piano recitals, new songs learned, poetry readings.
* Create collages of special events -- hair ribbons, a pressed flower, photo, program from a child's ballet recital, or ticket stubs from the season's final peewee soccer match.”
These ideas are creative ways to encourage and affirm a child's accomplishments.

Four Ways to Influence Arts Education

2008-08-14T08:50:00.001-05:00

This morning one of my daughters e-mailed a YouTube video about “Raisin Brahms.”
It's a short commercial from the Americans for the Arts campaign, and it was so cute I checked out their website, where I found a lot of helpful, interesting information.
For instance, did you know that (according to the website's Quick Facts) “Young people who participate in the arts for at least three hours on three days each week through at least one full year are 4 times more likely to be recognized for academic achievement . . . 3 times more likely to be elected to class office within their schools . . . 4 times more likely to participate in a math and science fair . . . 3 times more likely to win an award for school attendance . . . 4 times more likely to win an award for writing an essay or poem.
As a grandparent I believe these opportunities are important for children. And as a grandparent I have several opportunities to make a difference in the lives of my grandchildren, as well as all the children in our community -- and that's important for many reasons, not least because those children are my grandchildren's peer group.
Here are four ways grandparents can influence the arts opportunities our grandchildren have:
* Act as advocates for the arts in our community, including working with local school boards to be sure there is adequate funding, resources and equipment for arts programs.
* Patronize exhibits, concerts, shows, and art sales in the local community. A thriving arts community will demonstrate opportunities for artists.
* If you've ever played an instrument, drawn or painted a picture, or written a short story or poem, keep at it! When your grandchildren see you working at these things, it legitimizes them. When they see you having fun with them, it encourages your grandchild to try them, too!
* If you're an artist, volunteer your skill and talent to your local school, church, or community group. The more art there is around your grandchildren, the more artists they know, the more they'll be inspired to find the artist within themselves.

An Invitation

2008-08-13T21:15:00.004-05:00

I'd like to invite you to stop by and visit my other blog, Notes from Home. It's a daybook of sorts, reflections about everyday life. You can find it here.

3 Ways a Grandparent Matters

2008-08-13T10:11:00.001-05:00

Grandparents are important in a child's life. Whether they live next door or across the country, grandparents can provide at least three important benefits to their grandchildren.
* Grandparents provide a sense of connection. Kids like to know where they belong, and they like to feel they are part of something significant. When they know how they fit into a family, kids gain a sense of belonging and significance.
* Grandparents provide back-up to a parent. Even if they don't quite agree on every detail, a grandparent can affirm a parent's authority and confirm a parent's love. Kids need to see a united front when it comes to things that are important, and grandparents can offer important support to the things a parent is trying to instill in a child.
* Grandparents provide love. From the hugs and kisses at the end of a visit (or a letter!) to the caring concern about everything from scraped knees to grades on tests to a child's interests and enthusiasms, a grandparent's interest in a grandchild says one thing: you matter greatly to me, and I love you. Kids need that from someone besides a parent.
If you are a grandparent, you have the opportunity to bless your grandchild significantly!

Grandkids and Nature

2008-08-11T20:32:00.001-05:00

One of the things we can nurture in our grandchildren is a love of nature. The psalmist tells us that “the majesty of God's name fills the earth.” (Psalm 8:9) When we encourage close observation and pleasure in nature, we are really directing attention to the Creator.
My daughter Julie Kaiser wrote about encouraging children to enjoy nature from for a Hearts at Home column in the Bloomington Pantagraph. You can read her observations here.
While Julie was talking specifically about some of the ways parents can encourage a child to explore the natural world around him, her ideas are simple enough for a grandparent to utilize.
We can encourage our grandchildren's natural interest in the world around them. Simply giving them an opportunity to explore is a good beginning. For a grandparent, that might mean making a walk together a regular ritual during the time we spend with our grandchildren.
We can point out things our grandkids might miss, but we can also listen to their observations and questions about what they see and hear and smell.
Here are some other ideas you might find helpful in nurturing your grandchild's love of nature:
* Share your own interest and enthusiasm. When our kids were small, my own father's interest in constellations sparked their interest. What an exciting evening it was when grandpa came to our house to share telescope time!
* Make the natural world part of your conversation with your grandchildren, whether that conversation takes place in person or on the phone, through letters and notes, or by e-mail.
* Make field guides or other educational resources available to your grandchild. The National Wildlife Federation publishes several nature magazines for children, including Your Big Backyard and Ranger Rick.
* Visit local parks, wildlife refuges, and gardens together.
* Encourage your grandchild to sketch, journal, photograph or make an audio recording of what she sees and hears in nature.
No matter how you go about it, sharing a love for God's creation with your grandchildren is a good thing.

Illuminating Faith

2008-08-09T21:57:00.000-05:00

In his foreword to the book A Sacrifice of Praise, Larry Woiwode describes what happens to many young people who go off to college or university: their “faint faith” fades. In his case, it took about a decade before he found faith illuminating his life again.
Most of us have observed this same thing happening to young people we know; some of us have experienced it first-hand. It's a common enough experience, and sadly, not everyone returns to a life of faith.
If you have grandchildren who are going off to college or university, or beginning a career, don't underestimate the good influence you can have on them as they begin to make independent choices.
Specifically you can:
* Stay in touch. Of-the-moment communication like e-mail and texting is valuable, but so is a loving, old fashioned hand-written letter. It's a tangible reminder that you are thinking of your grandchild.
* Stay interested but not intrusive. Ask questions about what your grandchild thinks about what he is studying, or the people he is meeting. Keep up with what is happening on his campus.
* Supply her need. Think about what small gift might encourage her: homemade cookies in the mail? Something practical like a gift card to an office supply store? A coffee mug with her university's logo? If you can afford it, supply it.
* Pray specifically for him as he goes to class. Pray he will be discerning when he hears other world views. Pray he will be wise in dealing with non-believers. Pray for his safety, his studies, the choices and decisions he will make.

House Beauty

2008-08-04T17:17:00.000-05:00

There's a new school of fish “swimming” on our kitchen bulletin board today.
Some of our granddaughters got home from a lengthy vacation, and on the way home they stopped with their parents at a restaurant where the back of the children's menu was a picture of fish to color.
Those colored fish were the first things they gave us when they got home; I know the girls will be looking for them the next time they come over.
Sometimes when I see photographs of perfectly decorated rooms, I sigh, and think about how lovely it would be to live in a room like that. I look around at our kid-art decorated, toy-strewn home, weigh the family against perfection, and the family wins every time.
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

E-mail Exchange

2008-08-01T14:38:00.002-05:00

I had a nice surprise yesterday -- e-mails from two of my grandchildren. Their mom had them dictate their messages as she typed, and I got to hear about frog-catching, a special new book, and scary movies. Hugs and kisses -- lots of xxxs and ooos -- adorned each e-mail. What a day brightener!
Mindful of e-mail etiquette, I responded right away. I can only hope they are as cheered by my response as I was thinking of them sitting on my daughter's lap, dictating their messge.
If you are wishing you could talk with a grandchild, ask her parent if exchanging e-mail might be a possibility.

Getting Together

2008-08-01T14:16:00.001-05:00

If you are thinking about planning a family reunion, may I suggest an article I wrote for the current issue of Midwestern Family magazine? You'll find tips for planning a fun time for your extended family, and ways to make the most of your time together, as well as suggestions for nurturing relationships. Although the article is not available online, the website will give you information about where to find the magazine locally or by mail.

Creativity

2008-08-01T13:21:00.000-05:00

Creativity is one of the best parts of education; learning is an onerous chore without it.
I'm not talking about the kind of creativity that is caricatured as something woo-hooey, something kind of spacey, kind of not-of-this-world.
I like what Miriam Huffman Rockness says, “The creative person is an artist in living, taking all the raw materials of life and shaping them imaginatively.” I think her point is pertinent: a creative person is rooted in real life.
It can be tempting, once we reach a certain age, to quit learning, to stop being excited about life. Creativity dies when we hold that attitude. Worse, we set a bad example for those who come after us.
The psalmist, in “A Song for the Sabbath” (Psalm 92) writes, “The righteous flourish like the palm tree, and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the LORD, they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bring forth fruit in old age, they are ever full of sap and green, to show that the LORD is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.” (Psalm 92:12-15.)
Reading this makes me giggle. It seems to say that even in old age it's good to be sappy, full of life and green. Creative. Still bringing forth fruit.
That's what I hope for. That's what I want to share with my children, and with my grandchildren.